It’s been trending this way for years, but seeing it graphed out like this is shocking.

What do you think are the effects of this drastic change?

  • eestileib@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    1183·
    2 months ago

    I think the online thing is about to start dropping. The sites are so full of looky-loos who just want to chat and never actually meet in person they’re hardly worth the time. I expect as the bot infestation continues to grow, they’ll be even less useful.

    • Asafum@feddit.nlEnglish
      67·
      2 months ago

      There is also the enshittification that intentionally make the sites worse and harder to use… I will never in a million years understand why useful features are removed completely other than “the longer you are stuck on the site the more likely you are to pay for premium.”

      POF used to have a section for you to add tags and a function to search by tags. Completely gone. Not even a premium feature. OKC used to have an additional text entry to elaborate on the questions you answer, now completely gone. “do you believe animals have spirits like people” yes or no… No, but that makes me sound like an asshole. I don’t believe either do, but I can’t explain that now… OKC used to let you browse profiles instead of just swipe swipe swipe. Match group bought every successful dating site and absolutely destroyed them to make them all seemingly identical “Tinder 2.0” clones.

      I’m not 100% sure on this one, but there aren’t even direct messages on OKC at first, just an “intro” and I’ve seen on women’s profiles they say “I read all my intros.” There’s a tab for intros, so I’m assuming their intros show up there. I’m a guy, I NEVER have had an intro in that tab, but if I happen to stumble on a profile where she sent me an intro it shows up on her profile. Not trying to be sexist, I think they are playing the bullshit game of “men are more desperate and willing to pay so we’ll do what we can to make them stuck here longer.”

      POF is even more of a joke now, they are moving more towards streaming and paid rewards… Fucking streamer profiles “not here to date, just here for the streaming.” It’s so absurd what happened to online dating.

      A lot of people are ok with tinder or hinge, but I need more information about a person I’m not one of those “unga bunga she pretty, lemme smash” types. I need a profile to read…

      • eldavi@lemmy.mlEnglish
        3·
        2 months ago

        some of recognize that and use it to enrich themselves & entrench their positions; a few others who also recognize it decide to use it to try improve humanity’s lot in life; and the overwhelming majority are only vaguely aware at best, call the latter tankies while idolizing the former.

    • iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      13·
      2 months ago

      “online” doesn’t necessarily mean dedicated dating/match making apps.

      The Internet connects people in a way that nothing ever has before. You use the Internet to seek out interests of yours, as will other people. So like minded people tend to meet even incidentally.

      I met my partner online, but it was on a game, not a dating service. Neither of us were really looking for love. We became friends, then started dating, and now married for years.

      • milicent_bystandr@lemm.eeEnglish
        6·
        2 months ago

        …Even now, though, if we have an argument I shout, “noob! EZ! Uninstall!” and she waits around awkwardly for some moderator to penalize me.

        • eestileib@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          4·
          2 months ago

          “Do you take this woman, to have and to hold, to draw aggro and tank for, in MSQ and DLC, so long as the NA servers stay up?”

          “Roger that”

          “And do you take this man, to have and to hold, to heal and to buff, in grinding and in raids, so long as the NA servers stay up?”

          “I do”

          chockobo music starts

      • Monument@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
        3·
        2 months ago

        I once moved across the country for a woman I (re)met during a random Words with Friends match. Took us a dozen games before I realized I’d originally met her through LiveJournal, about a decade earlier.

        Many years later, my wife moved across the country to be with me, after we met on Reddit. (Clearly the previously mentioned woman was better as a friend.)

        • iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          4·
          2 months ago

          Met on Elder Scrolls Online, graduated to hanging out outside of the game, picked up some other co op games together, fell in love!

    • PunchingWood@lemmy.worldEnglish
      131·
      2 months ago

      Most of the “people” on there aren’t people. They’re either bots or occasionally those looky-loos that are just hired actors to keep people engaged to the site and try and get as much money out of them as possible. Especially the paid dating sites are mostly just that. They’re just sucking money out of people that are genuinely emotionally invested and sometimes even desperate. It’s real sad, and disgusting from those sites.

      I think online dating will still remain. But it’s less of actual interest for long term stuff, and more want to have a fun one night stand kind of deal. I feel like most other things on that chart turned into that as well though.

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.worldEnglish
      10·
      2 months ago

      I think the online thing is about to start dropping.

      The graph stops at 2020…the height of the pandemic where everyone was stuck in physical, but not virtual isolation.

      I agree with you except my guess is that has already dropped if post-pandemic data was introduced.

    • you_are_dust@lemm.eeEnglish
      5·
      2 months ago

      Totally agree with this. I’ve been on and off the apps for years and they get worse each time I try again. There is a population of people that use dating apps like a game trying to get the high score with the points being likes and matches. It’s just another form of social media at this point.

    • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.worldEnglish
      41·
      2 months ago

      “dating” (fucking) apps: ew ❌

      becoming a furry and then dating exclusively within the fandom for a much smaller pool of candidates but that are generally much more intelligent and just as socially awkward as you so the awkwardness cancels itself out: ☑️

      My first unofficial bf (really early in my teens) was a normie, and when that collapsed I went furry-only for relationships, never looked back. Had some amazing relationships due to it. The intelligence bar is much, much higher, so when you get into a conversation, it’s a deep, insightful, intriguing topic. My ex, he has adhd, autism, and several other quirks, and I could listen to him talk about stuff for hours, literally. The excitement he got from discussing something he was interested and passionate about, made topics I know nothing about and/or care nothing about, interesting; and I would always learn a nugget or two of information. And because furries are typically all weird as fuck, nothing is really weird. It’s liberating to just speak your mind without being worried about being judged or criticized.

      I tried to dip my toes into the traditional dating/hookup apps a decade or so ago. Assholes as far as the eye can see, nothing meets their standards and they will demean you because of it. Fuck them all, and not in the fun way.

    • Ithral@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      1·
      2 months ago

      Why do you assume people are meeting on dating apps? I met my spouse in VR chat, and a few others I’ve had relationships with I met as mutuals on a Discord server… Online isn’t necessarily Tinder