I was the one that ended the Soviet Union.

I was meeting Gorbachev for lunch to discuss politics. He was reaching out to me as a third party to discuss whether the Soviet Union was a lost cause or not.

I tried to tell him to keep the Soviet dream alive but every time I tried to talk a fart would slip out and I would get embarrassed.

In the end he just shrugged and started eating lunch.

“What is this?” He said

“I couldn’t afford anything nice so I just got Pizza Hut.”