He wants to hire me as a talent scout when I leave rehab, but is willing to pay for my recovery home once I leave rehab. According to him he’s “Dummy rich, an anarchist, and was saved by someone in the same way” in the 90s. Can I get fucked over by accepting this dude’s help?
well, I’ve learned the hard way that
sometimesoften people who are offering to help are hoping to get a little something in return. sometimes it’s just the good feeling of helping, sometimes it’s just your friendship, but sometimes … 😐what does he want from you? how certain can you be that whatever answer(s) he gives are accurate and complete?
it can be a risky situation to put all your eggs into someone else’s cushy basket. do you have any local-enough sober/in-recovery friends you could crash with if it turns out he’s looking for sexual favors or a virtual slave?
I have 3 bands that want to sign with them. 2 of the 3 bands agreed with me to not sign with them if I don’t get hired. (They’re amazing leftist comrades.) But considering I can’t even leave my room without being yelled at, any improvement is a plus. I know he isn’t using me for sexual favors, it’s been done before to me and isn’t triggering any warning signs, I think this person just genuinely sees my talent as a music nerd as an asset, and st worse is still offering a job that can pay for a legit house.
it sounds like you’ve got good instincts and a support system in case things go south at all, in which case, I’m wondering why you’re hesitating?!?! this sounds fuckin amazing
Because I’m a victim of extreme abuse and any help is scary to me lmao
💔 oh. that makes perfect sense. I’m sorry.
you deserve help and support just as much as anyone else, and I hope you can find a way to feel safe enough to accept it
Yeah ignore my first comment. You have leverage in the situation and they probably see you’re connected with people they want to connect with.
okay, so let’s run through what the possible scenarios could be here, so you can figure out how you feel about them and how you would deal with them
everybody help, I won’t think of everything
as I’m typing them, the third one seems the most likely to me – and I bet this strategy tends to backfire a little, because it can make for an awkward beginning to a friendship when there’s so much inequity from the jump. it can be hard to recover from that, but finding a way to make the aid mutual really helps, so if that is the situation, just seeing the act of friendship as a gift you’re giving in return might be helpful.
if I had more money, I would be trying to take people in constantly, so I’ve been more trusting of these kinds of situations than I ought to be and gotten into trouble. but I am that kind of person, and I know there are others, and some of them probably have money. so maybe it’s legit.