When I was 20 I was diagnosed by a psychologist with having Narcissistic Personality Disorder. At first I was in denial about but over time I come to terms with my narcissism and the diagnosis started to make sense to me. A lot of my problems can be traced back to my unrealistic self image and lack of ability to relate with others.
There’s a lot of stigma towards NPD. I hope by making this thread I can help others understand that having NPD doesn’t inherently make you a bad person and NPD hurts the person with it as well.
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Has being diagnosed helped you?
If you don’t mind sharing, what lead to the diagnosis?
For a small background: psychologists who have worked with my stepdaughter have expressed that her bio-dad (my wife’s ex-husband) has displayed some traits that could indicate NPD, but of course he would have to be formally evaluated for a diagnosis and that’s difficult to get someone with the disorder to do. The last time they were in court the judge was flabbergasted by his behavior and during the judgment expressed that he was close to ordering a mental evaluation, which I think is the only way we would ever know for sure. It’s pretty obvious that if he has the disorder then it has caused many negative impacts for him, but it is also hard to feel any sympathy towards him when I see how much harm he has done to two of the people I care about the most. It might be hard to accept if he ever was diagnosed and some treatment actually helped to counter the destructive behaviors simply because of how much damage was already done.
Have you had relationships? How do they go?
Joke question: jeez man, why you gotta make the post all about you?
Serious question: have you engaged in narcissistic abuse of anyone?
What even is “narcissistic” abuse? How is it any different then regular abuse?
Thanks for making this AMA, I not too knowledgeable in this area so please forgive me if I am insensitive in asking this:
What kind of strategies do you employ to fulfil your need for attention, without acting rudely to others?
It’s no problem. There’s a lot of things I do/did for attention. When I was younger I used to take the wildest drugs I could get my hands on and brag to my classmates. I use social media a lot and I’ve got some friends that I use. Nightclubs and bars are good. There’s always a lot of attention to get from there.
Ever since I was a teen I’ve found my self being very promiscuous. It’s the best way to get attention from others.
How does your lack of ability to connect manifest?
Do you feel connected to characters in books or movies/do their hardships affect you?
Are you doing any kind of exercises to change patterns around thinking/relating?
How do you feel NPD hurts you?
Last one, don’t answer if you don’t want, but what caused you to seek out professional help?
“How does your lack of ability to connect manifest?”
Very superficial and short term relationships. It can be very isolating at times. I can connect to others but only if there really close to me.
“Do you feel connected to characters in books or movies/do their hardships affect you?”
They don’t. There just made up.
“Are you doing any kind of exercises to change patterns around thinking/relating?”
Sometimes I think about others like there me. I know that sounds odd but helps me understand them. I try not to make everything about my self. I listen to others.
“How do you feel NPD hurts you?”
Yes, that’s what I’m trying to get across in this thread. NPD is like a drug there’s highs and lows. Sometimes when something good happens I just have this feeling that I deserve it. That I’m worthy but with that there’s come downs. Sometimes things don’t go to plan and makes me mad because how can I be wrong? It’s hard to accept there’s something wrong with you because you put yourself up on a pedestal and every mistake feels like your cracks are showing. You think that everyone else is as interested in you as you are.
“Last one, don’t answer if you don’t want, but what caused you to seek out professional help?”
I was having suicidal thoughts. I stopped seeing the psychologist cuz I lost interest.
Thanks for being open about it! How does it manifest? What’s your experience interacting with other people?
No problem. I’m obsessed with how others look at me and I need constant validation and attention. I’m very driven by short term pleasure. I care more about the immediate validation and attention from others then long term relationships.
I found it hard to relate to others. Everyone else is like a secondary character or a NPC. I know this may sound bad but I found it hard to care about other people. I love my family and friends but it’s hard to give anyone else attention.
Why?
I think they’re making a jokey dig at their parent, who I assume also has NPD.
I see this thing a lot. People think that anyone they don’t like has NPD. I wonder how they would feel if a loved one told them they had NPD?
This is a great observation. I find it absolutely amazing how many spouses of my friends spontaneously develop NPD as soon as they separate.
It’s almost like…. there’s no disorder, it’s just anger at an ex partner, but using sciencey words is supposed to bolster their case.
How does it feel to admit fault or to apologize?
It’s like admitting defeat. I don’t remember the last time I said “sorry” to someone tho.
If you want to practice with me, you can apologize for using Reddit if you have before.
I apologize for using windows in the past :P
Why would I apologize for using Reddit? Or windows?
They’re proprietary and less user friendly.
Shouldn’t windows or Reddit be sorry for that?
They would be if enough of their userbase switches to foss alternatives.
Lol
What’s your relationship with social media like? Active selfie-poster?
I use it a lot. I love when people interact with my posts or just comment. I can’t get enough of it although that can be said for most people these days.
What do you do for a living? How does NPD impact your work? Is it beneficial or detrimental? I imagine there are careers that would be particularly suited for someone with NPD.
I’m a cook at burger king. I don’t see how NPD would affect that. It’s way more detrimental then beneficial as all the benefits are imagined. I don’t know if any careers suited for someone with NPD.
I’d have guessed you might have been attracted to a job on-stage. Actor/musician/…
I can see where your coming from. Who wouldn’t want to be famous?
