I’m gonna be honest, I’m not asking for a friend, I’m asking for myself. Our daughter (24) married this man (65) in September. She herself stated money was the main reason, and he knows it but it doesn’t bother him. Both my husband & I are having a very hard time getting used to the idea.
How much money we talking? 65 and spritely could well mean 25 years or more of marriage
I don’t know the exact net worth, but enough to have 2 “main residences” in Alpine NJ (most of the time, he hates city congestion) & Upper East Side (to stay when there’s work in the city, things like that), summer home in Sagaponack + at least 7 other homes I’m aware of. Flying exclusively private. That kind of wealth.
Holy fucking shit. Bruh. Just… goddamn. I’m pretty sure my parents would be over the moon if I was wanting to marry someone like that, regardless of intentions. Furthermore, it sounds like they’re clear on what her feelings are and things like that. It’s totally possible that he’s looking for an heir which is why her attraction to his wealth isn’t something he has a problem with (he’s already planning to give it to her and/or any children she might end up having). It’s also possible (as someone else pointed out) that it may be more kinky and saying she is marrying him for his wealth is an easier (or less awkward) explanation. Regardless, however, it sounds like it’s consensual.
I think the way I’d handle it is to voice my concerns just to make sure she’s thought of what might happen. When you do so, make sure she understands you’re not rejecting her, but trying to make sure she’s thought everything through; and that you need some reassurance yourself that she’ll be okay. Explain that you care about her and you don’t want anything bad to happen to her, and that’s why you’re so concerned. Then let her go and be there for her if things go south. Ultimately, she’s an adult and you can’t stop her from living her own life. At least it sounds like this path will ensure she (and any children she might have with him) will live a good life.
I’m actually kinda jealous lol.
Your daughter could likely follow her dreams now.
That’s enough to not worry about money again. As long as he treats her well and she’s happy, then you and your husband should do their best to support her and her choices.
You’re her parents, she doesn’t need undue stress from y’all. It sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders, just try to understand, support and love her.
That’s certainly reason enough for most people. So long as there is some actual spark then what’s not to love? You may well still get grandchildren and he’s unlikely to be seen much. The age gap certainly fails the creepiness test, but no crimes are being commited and both are entering into it with good faith. You may well struggle for some time, but for the good of all - button that beak and smile