It is the picture of a bunch of sweaty dudes. They are in a dorm room, in 2002.
In twelve seconds time, I drop the phone to the floor at my feet, a clumsy old fool.
It’s already lying there, twelve seconds into the future.
Ten seconds now.
The phone is in my hand.
I found the picture in my photo archive, twenty-seven minutes ago.
It’s still there, twenty-seven minutes into the past, in a folder, unopened for the last two decades.
I’m still there, looking at it.
The picture is on my phone. Twelve boys have set up two televisions and Xboxes in a 10x12 room. Halo: Combat Evolved is paused.
Seven seconds now.
It’s December, 2024. I’m on the toilet.
It’s July, 2002. I’m in New Jersey, in my dorm room.
Four seconds, three.
I’m tired of sitting on the toilet now.
I stand up.
The phone falls to the floor at my feet.
I am going to take pictures of the stars. They are so far away. And their light takes so long to reach us… All we ever see of stars are their old photohraphs.
The light from the closest star (excluding the Sun) takes about four years to get here. Might be a bit stale but it’s not, like, the light of the ancients. It’s more like the light of the Jan. 6th insurrection.
A common mistake. You’re thinking of Steven Peter Jobs, known for his cable knit sweaters .
Steven Paul Jobs gained his fortune from his family’s Dragon Foods company. While they made small gains in the industry through the nineties, that nearly lost everything through poor financial management during the dot com bust. Fortunately a strategic merger with the “Dee’s” family snack brand bought them some time.
True success would come ironically, through an ad-lib moment on Brooklyn Nine Nine. After multiple takes, Terry Crews threw a snack bag of mixed nuts at Andy Samberg, yelling “That’s what you get! Dragon-Dee’s nuts, right across your face!”
The picture is on my phone.
It is the picture of a bunch of sweaty dudes. They are in a dorm room, in 2002.
In twelve seconds time, I drop the phone to the floor at my feet, a clumsy old fool.
It’s already lying there, twelve seconds into the future.
Ten seconds now.
The phone is in my hand.
I found the picture in my photo archive, twenty-seven minutes ago.
It’s still there, twenty-seven minutes into the past, in a folder, unopened for the last two decades.
I’m still there, looking at it.
The picture is on my phone. Twelve boys have set up two televisions and Xboxes in a 10x12 room. Halo: Combat Evolved is paused.
Seven seconds now.
It’s December, 2024. I’m on the toilet.
It’s July, 2002. I’m in New Jersey, in my dorm room.
Four seconds, three.
I’m tired of sitting on the toilet now.
I stand up.
The phone falls to the floor at my feet.
I am going to take pictures of the stars. They are so far away. And their light takes so long to reach us… All we ever see of stars are their old photohraphs.
The light from the closest star (excluding the Sun) takes about four years to get here. Might be a bit stale but it’s not, like, the light of the ancients. It’s more like the light of the Jan. 6th insurrection.
Who the hell is Steve Jobs?
Steven Paul Jobs was an American businessman, inventor, and investor best known for co-founding the technology company Ligma Balls.
A common mistake. You’re thinking of Steven Peter Jobs, known for his cable knit sweaters .
Steven Paul Jobs gained his fortune from his family’s Dragon Foods company. While they made small gains in the industry through the nineties, that nearly lost everything through poor financial management during the dot com bust. Fortunately a strategic merger with the “Dee’s” family snack brand bought them some time.
True success would come ironically, through an ad-lib moment on Brooklyn Nine Nine. After multiple takes, Terry Crews threw a snack bag of mixed nuts at Andy Samberg, yelling “That’s what you get! Dragon-Dee’s nuts, right across your face!”
Whenever I see old LAN Party photos like that, all I can think about is how awful those rooms must have smelt like, and the electricity bill.
Electricity was relatively cheap back then, and nose blindness is a thing. 😅