(Early 20s bi m)

This isnt a question on finding someone who’s interested, more on how to approach asking for things like sexting or even just discussing sexual topics without it coming across like thats the only thing Im interested in .

How do I ease into that kind of discussion in a way that would let me back off gracefully if I get the sense that the person I’m talking to isnt interested in that at the moment? What bridge topics could I use that are more innocuous than just dropping a “hey what are your opinions about buttfucking?” Into the conversation like a grenade.

I’d like to be able to use a lighter touch so if it seems like somebody isnt interested at the moment I could circle back when they might be more in the mood for that, or at least not ruin the non-sexual things I like about the relationship if it seems like they’re not interested at all.

I’m also fairly vanilla in terms of sexual interests, advice specific to kink would be appreciated since I’m kink-curious but isnt exactly what I’m looking for.

  • blackmoldbasement@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
    6·
    4 days ago

    I’ve looked into “how to flirt” a bit but none of the stuff I’ve found really fits with how I approach conversations. So I figured trying to ask in a more analytical framework might work to get advice that I’d be better at using

    The person in particular I have in mind I met through hinge so I know there’s some level of interest. my current life situation makes meeting people in person for going on dates or visiting for a movie and cuddling logistically harder (in parent’s basement while I’m looking for a job). Though even if it weren’t a logistical pain in the ass Id still want ways to let my freak flag fly more so I wrote the question in a more general tone

    • BunnySir@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
      3·
      3 days ago

      I was in my parents attic with a job waiting to save enough for a house. I just asked a girl out on a date. I stopped worrying about being at home as I had a valid reason to be there. I moved back in from out of state and didn’t have much saved up. But I just talked with the girl. My point being you are more worried about your status than she will be, and you are trying to force being charming. The only thing you need to force is keeping yourself from saying something that Louis CK would. Just chat. And be honest.