For those that want the source and confirmation:
spoiler
It originated from a satire website: World News Daily Report :::
Thank you haha I was gonna say there’s no way it works like that
Article by “Hasan”
Her first name is “Hillary”
Her last name is “Wang”
Obvious parody.
The NSA does have all the pictures from your phone and probably your PC as well, though. And you’d be naive to think they can’t search by object, because I can do that shit on Amazon Photos. They don’t have a “dick” filter but how hard (giggity) would it be to make one? Just buy Chatroulette’s ML model for a start.
Hot dog or not hot dog?
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Goddammit Jin Yang
Not seeing how that first name is anything other than generic placeholder first name?
Hillary Clinton, in a story about American intelligence agencies
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How do you know they don’t have a dick filter?
Set up NextCloud, sync your photos to your own NextCloud server, and you’re good to go. The crazy thing is it’s becoming trivial for even a non-technical user to set everything up. Tail scale means there is no reason to put forward if you are just using it for personal use, and you literally just have to log into tail scale with your Google account on the server and your phone. You can run next cloud in a virtual machine with virtualBox, and that’s literally it. You don’t have to deal with updating, being stuck in PHP or dependency hell, none of that. Seriously, we are at such a crazy time in history where you can set up your own cloud infrastructure with an hour of work for even an non-technical user, and stop paying for iCloud photos or Google photos storage each month. It saves you money and improves your privacy
Leave her alone. She was just training her ML model SchlongGPT.
Hot dog
Not hot dog
Yo people would pay good money for that
Based on my research, AI generated porn certainly needs more, um, input…
DixieGPT (dick-see)
How did this take place? Her security clearance let’s her download pics from computers and mobile phones just like that?
So they are admitting there are back doors in phones and operating systems?
Doesn’t seem likely they would admit that much.
Did we forget all the sweet NSA tools that quickly? Poor Snowden
I mean, it’s been a well known fact that the NSA has been intercepting and logging all domestic internet/mobile traffic since Snowden. I bet there are over 16m dick pics sent in the US on a daily basis.
I know but I think the general public doesn’t know or understand this. It’s still not exactly admitted as a general thing how this works. Apple and other companies usually talk about how they are resisting to give out access etc.
But yeah, nsa can probably access all windows and Mac systems. I don’t think Linux though. Not counting Intel Management Engine in the cpu.
Linux is where a lot of the actually interesting stuff is, so I highly doubt they don’t have a bag of exploits for that.
You’re not wrong, but exploits get caught and patched more quickly than backdoors.
A lot of that info was known over a year before that even. Wired did a cover story that apparently got no attention from anyone but me… https://www.wired.com/2012/03/ff-nsadatacenter/
I remember another story as well, where the journalist actually walked up the hill that blocked the view of the facility and saw the construction. It had about the same focus, but didn’t go into as much detail on the computing side of the NSA, just their storage capabilities.
The knowledge that a government agency is recording everything is one of those existential horrors that slowly fades and just quietly lurks in your mind, hidden beneath the daily struggles and interests.
It predates your story by at least five years, 2007, when a Silicon Valley engineer revealed that a backbone line had been spliced and all traffic was passing to government machines.
That revelation also inspired an outraged public backlash of ‘meh.’
For those wondering, that’s 0.097 dic pics per male per day.
Oh my sweet summer child
It’s a joke
So many idiots deep diving this… it is from the onion- they make parody news. It’s not real.
Sad part is that it could be real these days. If they just used slightly less obvious language, so people are not certain what it means exactly. Microsoft and google are working with nsa of course, and Snowden showed that any nsa employee can look at anything.
She was just doin’ NSA shit: training a AI so that every person can be identified with just a dick pic
Yea, the real problem was making a Geoguessr like app where you have to name someone by their dick pic. All she had to do was keep the sausages in-house.
don’t give sam altman any ideas
I saw that episode of Inside Job
I can’t remember that episode. Was it in the first season?
Season 1 Episode 4 - Sex Machina
If she’s that into dick pics, let us know where they’re sending her and we can try and double that 16M. All printed and mailed to her. Imagine the state of the mail service at the prison when they have to sift through a thousand sacks of Polaroids every day.
*Polaroids of sacks…
FTFY
Sacks lol
fake article from 2018 btw
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haha u got me 😜
so uh article, no outrage that this can even be done by the NSA?
Well, no because the story is so obviously fake that no one but the most credulous of suckers could fall for it.
well I’ll admit to not really digging deep while taking a shit but is this a joke or not?
It is
The only thing that makes this obviously fake is that it claims she downloaded them from people’s phones, rather than from some centralized NSA data store… And the idea an NSA employee would be held accountable publicly and cause bad PR.
Hah, yeah
Totally
Right? Haha, so many dumb fellas around here
Snowden let everyone know they could do this in his leaks
And this, boys and girls, is a good enough reason to not digitize your willy or cooter, no matter how much you think it’ll get you laid.
What if getting my dick doxxed is my kink?
Then live your best life lol
Government databases getting misused for personal motives is actually pretty common.
AP did a report on this back in 2016 and while public records on this are fairly limited, they still found about 300 cases of database abuse from 2013 through 2015.
Lmao this has been legal since the Bush administration.
I mean yea but this literally proves what people have been saying, that it would be super easy to abuse
“this” meaning this clearly satirical story or…
It’s made headlines at least twice before, it’s nothing new. That said, I think this was written in jest.
It’s not just written in jest, it’s totally made up
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John Oliver even did a thing on this, people don’t care about “metadata”, but ask them if they should be able to see your dick pics and people care a lot more
Well, apparently they’re seeing your dick pics
Haha “Bush”
Ya get it? Dickpics, bush. Yeah.
I mean, it’s been well known that the NSA has been intercepting and logging all domestic internet and other telecommunication traffic for like a decade now.
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She works at the NSA. She’s been collecting evidence about how many dick pics women receive all the time.
she just took home her work for the day
In Germany that might be illegal
But not because she takes work material home but because of employee rights
Americans: Worker’s rights?! I dunno’, sounds like some kinda’ regulation-thingy, and we don’t like people forcin’ their thingies on us…
Only the Americans who have been brainwashed. The rest of us are desperately trying to undo the damage they’re causing.
Yea, it’s just perpetually upsetting how many idiots think peoples’ struggles literally cannot be systemically caused. It’s always because someone didn’t work hard enough or is stupid, not because their boss failed to pay them a livable wage so they were SoL when the car broke down…
Holy shit, im reading this while listening to Bach cello suite 1 and it becomes surreal as fuck.
Edit: Turns out this is fake news. But still funny as fuck.
wait woah there - fake news, on MY internet??? it’s more likely than you think.
That’s a high number, Wang.
And strangely that is NOT numberwang!
IKR not even Wanganum, am I even trying?
It was the comma in your sentence which made me snort. That’s a very funny comma.
I was going for a Mitchell and Webb reference (https://youtu.be/0obMRztklqU), but I’m glad I dabbed into that comma comedy here.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/0obMRztklqU
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.
Piped is currently not functioning, FYI.
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Now that’s a proper dataset for automated DM spam filtering!
or surreptitiously retraining an image generation AI…
theft of government property and classified materials
wait… what
Interesting username
Ate the onion, which sucks because there are reported cases of employees spying/stalking exes and crushes
Funny how we can all go, “Yes, this is a possible thing”.
NSA and gov’t have too much data on us withouy warrants and using 3rd party companies.
Great post OP!
Hope you liked it.
