Kinda depends on what type of polyam you are! What you’re doing is what most folks refer to as “parallel poly” where you sort of do your polyamory things in parallel to each other. I know lots of people who do it that way and do it that way ethically and it’s fine.

I personally do kitchen table poly, where not only do I talk to my partners about my other partners, in most cases they’re all friends. I hang out with my metamours and they hang out with each other and we all hang out and it’s fine. I much prefer this sort of polyamory…first it’s nice to have kinda a free built in community of your partners’ partners, and secondly at least for me I think there’s a lot of value in confronting that jealousy and facing it head on. It can be tougher up front but long term I think it’s a better recipe for success. It doesn’t feel like we’re hiding anything when we’re all just hanging out. Plus it’s nice to actually know my partners’ partners and be friends with them (although admittely that part isn’t always possible). It makes me feel less jealous when I’m like “Aw, my partner is hanging out with other cool people, I’m happy for them!” It leads to opportunities for compersion which is a nice feeling. I’m having a birthday next week and all of my partners will be there, as will some of their partners (who are just my friends at this point), and also my friends. I get to just be surrounded and out in the open as my truest self with all the people I love the most. It’s awesome.

Ultimately what you and your partner have in your agreement is up to you, but I’d always encourage folks to discuss and wade into a more kitchen table style. Even if you never actually meet each other’s partners or hang out with them, it can feel a little better to the long term health of the relationship to talk about them. That’s totally just my opinion though, as long as you two have an agreement and that agreement feels ethical and healthy to you two then really nobody has any right to judge it.