Tone of voice makes a difference. The scarf and especially the bag aren’t associated with body parts, which is better when it’s a man to women. He should compliment men as well. As a woman, I can say “Cute shoes!” without coming off fetishy, might not be so easy for a guy. Also, guy to guy, “wow, looks like you could run so fast in those shoes!” could be nice and funny, but frightening guy-to-girl. Sadly, a young woman can hardly compliment a young man without risking him hearing “I will fuck you” instead of whatever she really said. And being angry because she “led him on.” But now I’m old, I can. Still keeping it uncreepy of course, because most young guys don’t want to feel leered at by saggy old ladies. Always keep the power/age/gender dynamic in mind and imagine being the other before opening your mouth.
As a guy who is diagnosed ADHD+Learning Disability+“doesn’t pick up social cues” (idk what that one is called but I remember that shrink saying it), this minefield is why I do not talk to women I do not know, I’m not a good eggshell walker. Yes it’s because I’m a diagnosed idiot, but that doesn’t mean I’m bad.
For all the men in my (or similar) position, women who read this, I implore you, start asking men out you’re interested in instead of dropping hints we don’t get. We cannot ask you out in public acceptably outside of the bar and online even if we do pick up on the hints, some of us don’t even do facebook much less ChickenTinder and bars are conducive to hookups not lasting relationships so who cares? I don’t need a hookup, I have a hand, my hand can’t provide loving companionship. Conversely you can hit on us ANYWHERE. We’re very receptive, even if we aren’t interested we won’t call you a creep or report you to HR so long as you take no for an answer which I feel we can all agree is reasonable, I took no for an answer just fine for years until it became “just don’t ask them out ever, you have to get on tinder” which again I refuse.
Alright well that’ll never happen, but at least I got it out lol. Now back to dying alone with my cats and fiddling with radios and attempting to sink into nature (once it warms up here soon anyway).
First one is cool, others could be toned down a bit.
Just try to compliment “like a girl” - a simple “Hey I love your scarf! The pattern is awesome” is much calmer than sounding like a runway commentator lol. Only further engage if the other person further engages. This goes for all genders!
I think even this sort of compliment will be creepy to many (perhaps most) women. Am I wrong?
Tone of voice makes a difference. The scarf and especially the bag aren’t associated with body parts, which is better when it’s a man to women. He should compliment men as well. As a woman, I can say “Cute shoes!” without coming off fetishy, might not be so easy for a guy. Also, guy to guy, “wow, looks like you could run so fast in those shoes!” could be nice and funny, but frightening guy-to-girl. Sadly, a young woman can hardly compliment a young man without risking him hearing “I will fuck you” instead of whatever she really said. And being angry because she “led him on.” But now I’m old, I can. Still keeping it uncreepy of course, because most young guys don’t want to feel leered at by saggy old ladies. Always keep the power/age/gender dynamic in mind and imagine being the other before opening your mouth.
As a guy who is diagnosed ADHD+Learning Disability+“doesn’t pick up social cues” (idk what that one is called but I remember that shrink saying it), this minefield is why I do not talk to women I do not know, I’m not a good eggshell walker. Yes it’s because I’m a diagnosed idiot, but that doesn’t mean I’m bad.
For all the men in my (or similar) position, women who read this, I implore you, start asking men out you’re interested in instead of dropping hints we don’t get. We cannot ask you out in public acceptably outside of the bar and online even if we do pick up on the hints, some of us don’t even do facebook much less ChickenTinder and bars are conducive to hookups not lasting relationships so who cares? I don’t need a hookup, I have a hand, my hand can’t provide loving companionship. Conversely you can hit on us ANYWHERE. We’re very receptive, even if we aren’t interested we won’t call you a creep or report you to HR so long as you take no for an answer which I feel we can all agree is reasonable, I took no for an answer just fine for years until it became “just don’t ask them out ever, you have to get on tinder” which again I refuse.
Alright well that’ll never happen, but at least I got it out lol. Now back to dying alone with my cats and fiddling with radios and attempting to sink into nature (once it warms up here soon anyway).
First one is cool, others could be toned down a bit.
Just try to compliment “like a girl” - a simple “Hey I love your scarf! The pattern is awesome” is much calmer than sounding like a runway commentator lol. Only further engage if the other person further engages. This goes for all genders!
What’s wrong with the third?