No for real, I’m bored. Ask me stuff lol.

I’m trying to not lose my mind debugging this stupid Android app. I’m jobless and don’t know what I’m doing with my life.

Recently got diagnosed with ASD at 40. I’m severely depressed and suicidal. I listen to shitty music, read theory and pretend I understand it, oh and I’m super hungover because I suffer from alcoholism. I’m an open book so please don’t doxx me <3.

  • ScrewdriverFactoryFactoryProvider [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    if it gets 2 bottles of whiskey a week bad again, I might look into getting proper help

    I’m someone who’s been codependent with several alcoholics and is still best friends with one of them who’s been sober for 5 years. I gotta say that this cultural consensus has always struck me as odd, the idea that you’re supposed to seek help when you’re at your worst. Seeking help is supposed to a proactive thing. It’s kinda like telling someone who’s in anaphylaxis and having trouble breathing to go wait in line and pick up their epipen prescription. I understand that a lot of rehab centers will turn you down if you’re not active, so it’s no individual’s fault, but still. Both times I’ve helped someone get into rehab it was directly after a failed suicide attempt and there was just this surreal sense of… time to take a break from processing that to fill out paperwork instead.

    I said in another comment that if weed was legal here I probably wouldn’t drink but then I’d just be a pothead, right?

    Everyone’s triggers are different. I know people who will basically fall into addictive patterns any time something’s even vaguely pleasant. Meanwhile, my friend I mentioned above takes a weed gummy to sleep most nights, but if everything goes right, won’t touch booze or coke ever again despite still thinking about it all the time. He knows which things he can’t stop once he starts, so he doesn’t start them anymore.

    • roux [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      I appreciate your reply. I come from a family of alcoholics and I think I’m partly just being stubborn. I’m not really sure how to even go about it. I sort of figured I would try and tackle the ASD, mental health and employment things first and then evaluate. Idk…