I need serious help, comrades. I thought I was doing better, maybe I was lying to myself, maybe I’m insane, I don’t know.

All I know is I’ve spent far too much money on drugs, doing them super often, and in places I shouldn’t be. Anything I could afford.

I’m so down and so dysfunctional that I am struggling to hold down jobs or do much of anything without the aid of being fucked up. Last night I got so demolished (ketamine + weed) that I couldn’t function around my girlfriend. It was embarrassing. I was having full on schizophrenic like experiences and the worst self esteem issues I’ve ever experienced and I realized that I was fucking my life and body up and headed down a very dark path. Said some embarrassing shit too.

I feel like such a loser. Not for finally getting help but for where I put myself and just I don’t know

I’m sorry everyone

If anyone has anything inspirational or anything to say I’d appreciate it because I’m in a spiral right now

I still feel like I’m in the void

Is this forever because it feels like it’s already been forever

  • i_must_destroy@lemmygrad.ml
    4·
    2 years ago

    I was able to kick alcohol over 3 years ago, after about 5 years of attempts. My life has vastly improved in that regard.

    I guess the biggest thing for me was doing an actual analysis of alcohol and realizing it had no benefit to my life. I don’t know, it just clicked one day. I did read a book called ‘Alcohol Lied to Me’. The author was a bit much, but it did help me.

    What works is totally dependent on the individual, but I’ve found maybe just getting out for a walk to clear your head can help you realize next steps you need to take. I really don’t like to give advice to people, especially in regards to addiction.

    It’s a journey. But I remember years ago thinking ‘why can’t I go more than 2 days without drinking?!’ I think it’s been over 1,000 now.

    A better life is possible.