I need serious help, comrades. I thought I was doing better, maybe I was lying to myself, maybe I’m insane, I don’t know.

All I know is I’ve spent far too much money on drugs, doing them super often, and in places I shouldn’t be. Anything I could afford.

I’m so down and so dysfunctional that I am struggling to hold down jobs or do much of anything without the aid of being fucked up. Last night I got so demolished (ketamine + weed) that I couldn’t function around my girlfriend. It was embarrassing. I was having full on schizophrenic like experiences and the worst self esteem issues I’ve ever experienced and I realized that I was fucking my life and body up and headed down a very dark path. Said some embarrassing shit too.

I feel like such a loser. Not for finally getting help but for where I put myself and just I don’t know

I’m sorry everyone

If anyone has anything inspirational or anything to say I’d appreciate it because I’m in a spiral right now

I still feel like I’m in the void

Is this forever because it feels like it’s already been forever

  • DankZedong @lemmygrad.ml
    31·
    2 years ago

    Ah I’m seeing this post after your other comment. Good to see you are actually starting treatment. I hope it can give you the tools to deal with your struggles.

    Going to treatment is a hard step for many and you should be proud that you’re taking it. You seem to be willing to change, that’s important. But remember: it’s a marathon you’re doing now, not a sprint. It’s not going to magically get better after 1 or 2 sessions and it will require work. But as long as you are able to open up and follow through, you will get out of it a better person, I promise.

    And for something inspirational: I myself have dealt with years of drug and alcohol abuse. I even dealt hard drugs to finance my lifestyle of partying and destroying myself. I was on a path to be a lifelong criminal and to destroy myself with drugs. Many times did it seem hopeless when I looked at the future. And many times did I try to end my life because of it. I’ve hit absolute rock bottom and I’ve stayed there for a long long time.

    But I managed to turn it around. By myself, with help from my friends and family and, importantly, with therapy. It was a hard road to where I am now, with some dangers of falling back, but I made it. And nothing will knock me back down now.

    If I could do it, you sure can. We’re here for you.