The goal of this post is to function as a vent post. Tell us what’s on your mind, yell, post pics, do whatever to clear your mind.
So yesterday my father in law and I went to this lake for a morning swim. It was 8 degrees celsius (46F) outside, the water was probably of a similar temperature. There were a few fishermen walking around in special wetsuits as to not get hypothermia and they were staring in disbelief at two guys walking into the water in underwear.
It was cold as fuck to the point that the cold water did nothing but hurt my skin. I swam for around ten minutes I think and the entire time I kept thinking: why would anyone do this? Why do humans feel the need to go to great lengths to do stupid shit like this? Surely it has to be more than just adrenaline.
Did I enjoy swimming in cold water? I don’t know. It made feel alive-ish. Would I do it again? It does have a certain lure to it.
It did make me think about people bragging about ‘suffering’. For example, my gf and I want to try to keep the heating off until at least the 21st of December, because shit is expensive yo. But when someone mentions that they already have the heating on, I start feeling proud of myself in a way. Because I don’t have the heating on yet, and I’m fine. Money is not even what I think about then, just that I am able to tolerate more cold or something stupid like that. I have no idea why I do that. It’s completely in line with my ideology and party work. But it still happens. Why do humans do this?
Also: FUCK CAPITALISM
Does anyone else have a hard time connecting to people IRL? I live in the USA. I don’t even mention my politics IRL that much, and never to certain people I know.
But people are often very selfish and only ever want to talk about themselves. I feel like the more accomidating I am, the worse I am treated. I want to try to find some new friends, but it’s very hard at my age.
For me, it was worse before I joined a party. Now, the party asks so much of me that a lot of people I talk to are marxists or MLs as well. I feel much more connected than I did before all of that.
I do sometimes still have this problem with non-party people. It’s especially bad when people keep complaining about things despite me saying there’s ways out of this.
Before I joined the party I felt disconnected to the majority of people. There’s so much bad shit happening in the world that I could not understand why we just didn’t tear shit down and start doing things that actually benefit people. I had not found out about communism yet. People frustrated me to no end because of ther inaction. With the party I have now found a way to deal with these feelings.
Mfw want Marxist-Leninist friends/partner but don’t want to join a party with the expectation of being a pest
Phrasing may be off, but I just mean that the line between comrade and friend can be blurry as hell and I find it somewhat difficult to remain entirely cognizant of that boundary. Just been difficult for me to socialize in my limited experience with party work, as everyone is (and probably should be) considered professional peers/coworkers. Wish there was just a large communist dating app sometimes.
Would it be wrong to join an org and expect to make an actual friend or two? Nothing romantic whatsoever, I just need an actual decent friend.
I wouldn’t join just to make friends, but I think I’d be more likely to get along with people in an org.
Ah I don’t think so at all. I liked all my comrades, the only thing is to be cognizant of that comrade-friend line, as in try to be as professional as possible during actions and meetings and don’t let personal feelings get in the way of self-criticism, or unfairly aiding someone with advancement in the party, or drink a beer at a meeting or whatever. Not that I think you would. I think the real problems arise from the romantic aspect, we’ve probably all heard of DSA dudebros joining up simply to be as sex pesty as possible.
I feel ya. I consider my fellow party goers as comrades, but not friends. And my friends are not always my comrades. Maybe now that I’m setting up a youth movement that I find more peers to be friends with in the movement, but otherwise those things remain seperate. It’s not bad or anything, but there sure does remain a line between comrade and friend.
Would you say it SHOULD be that way or it just is for you?
Because I know that I’m a person who connects to others very easily when doing something I’m passionate about and would almost certainly want to become friends with someone, especially speaking from an anxiety perspective. I would function much better being liked and known rather than just another comrade, you know?
Maybe this is something I need to get over before/while organizing, I don’t know. Of course I would always try to keep it professional and like others said never let there be any shenanigans within the organization simply because you’re friends but I just feel like I am a very sensitive person and kind of need that human connection to operate.
Maybe I’m misunderstanding what you’re saying entirely but yeah I don’t know
It can be that friendship forms in the party but it has not really happened yet in my situation. There’s nothing wrong with friendship. But it feels more like coworkers most of the time. We have fun, we get things done, we sometimes hang out outside of party work and we get along fine. But I don’t know if I consider them good friends or anything. Just party coworkers. We have different interests in our personal lives. For me, that’s fine. I feel liked and I like my party people, but we’re not really friends or anything. But we’re all very connected and we all support eachother regarding a lot of things. It feels like a very close group.
But you could be friends with people from the party. I’m getting to know more people my age right now with the youth program and I feel more connected to them on a personal level. Also, I see a lot of people in the party being friends outside of party work. It’s just my experience that is different lol.
I believe he is saying that is the case for him, not necessarily that his way is the correct way for all individuals.
I am hoping I can find connections through a party. I think it would improve my life. Plus, I want to actually help my community.
I feel you on the accommodation. I’m a very patient listener (I think) and people often like to unload their problems onto me at work or elsewhere. I can be peoples’ shoulder to cry on, but only for so long. That accomodation seemingly lends itself to people dehumanizing me as an individual with their own issues they may like to vent about or their own interests, and picturing me more as simply their vent-wall. It’s a weird, unpleasant feeling.
People are incredibly selfish. I’ve had multiple people in my personal life vent to me about their struggles, which is definitely fine.
But if I ever want to do the same to them, they want no part of it. I’ve literally been told ‘im sorry, I can’t listen to your problems’ by multiple people that have told me about their problems before. It’s actually very common.
I think most people here are literally narcissists.
Absolutely lol. Something absolutely incredible to hear, after having listened to someone vent their frustrations for hours IRL, is that they don’t have the “spoons” to listen to me talk about myself whatsoever. We can be expected to be the savior when loved ones (or even strangers) are having a mental break, but the moment our own issues shine through suddenly it becomes a burden. I might be projecting my experience onto you here, but hell it does get tiresome.
I’ve actually had the exact same experience multiple times from multiple people. People are so hypocritical it almost seems like a mental illness.
When they say they don’t have the spoons, they’re referring to Spoon Theory, which is a way for people with various chronic conditions to visualize the amount of energy they have using spoons. Essentially, you start with a certain amount of spoons which represent energy. Every time you do something, some amount of those spoons are subtracted, based on how much energy the task takes. Once you run out of spoons, you have to either rest to regain them or “borrow” from the next day, which means you will start with less the next day.
However, if I ever vented my problems to someone, I would feel really bad if I didn’t let them do the same to me. Personally, I’d rather have less energy the next day than be so selfish as to prevent people from venting to me, especially after I did the same to them.
Yes, I like the spoon theory conceptually and have used it for myself in the past (physical and mental), though I’ve found its real-use value, in my own personal life, to skew mainly in the direction of manipulative people utilizing it as a sort of transactional cop-out to escape from emotional reciprocation or as a means of emotional control. Not to say it’s worthless or anything, like I said I’ve used it, but more and more in my own relationships it’s become the sort of thing that people get to levy against me, and I never get to utilize at all lest I get accused of being manipulative. Does that make any sense? I think I just need better friends lol.
Yeah, I’ve known those kinds of people. They expect you to sacrifice everything but never do anything in return and get angry if you call it out, accusing you of being selfish. I really despise that kind of behavior.
I’ve discovered at least 3 textbooks narcissists in my life recently (new friend, new roommate (gone now, he was illegal so we were tryna help out ya know), and father in law). Definitely wary of how common these traits are.