Oh, Gabe Newell, the mighty leader of Steam, We gather before you, in your digital dream. Your Steam Deck, a marvel of gaming delight, In your name, we play day and night.
Gaben, bless us with Half-Life 3’s grace, Release it upon us in this sacred place. Let our framerates be high and load times be swift, In your gaming kingdom, our spirits do lift.
We worship your sales and your Summer Sale’s might, Our wallets grow lighter, but our game libraries take flight. For it is you, Gabe Newell, we faithfully adore, As we game on Steam Deck, forevermore.
Just because this level of cringey fanboying should never be tolerated, here is a hurtful fact: Valve has argued in court that they are a subscription service and you do not in fact own any game in your library. https://hothardware.com/news/valve-loses-french-court-battle
Yup, since early 00s, Valve has switched from selling digital copies of games to selling “limited perpetual licenses” of games.
Praise the Holy Gaben
I can feel the holy steam in me!
THAT IS NOT PROPER USE OF THE SAUNA!
wtf
PRAISE GABEN!
