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spoiler
Don’t want to clog up the comments too much but it’s too fun not to share so I’ll spoil it 😁
I was Muslim first 17 years of my life. Then I was agnostic. Then I got into Norse paganism due to my girlfriend at the time. Then I decided to be more of an “eclectic pagan,” and enjoyed Deism. Around the same time, my friend introduced me to the idea of “psychonauts,” which eventually manifested years later into reading the Psychonaut Field Manual and practicing chaos magick. I also picked up many beliefs and practices from the general New Age-y witch-y shit that started to root on the internet in the 2010s, as well as schizophrenic Gnostics, psychedelic culture, homeless people, extraterrestrials, and eventually a circle back to Abrahamism, as I appreciated the wisdom within all religions and fundamentals of chaos magick taught me to appreciate that “whatever works, works,” and that Islam/general Abrahamism is so deeply baked into my formative years and experience that it is far easier to embrace it than to fight against it. I started having a relationship with God after years of having terrible relationships with sinister entities fishing around for a “lord” blindly, or trying to create servitors.
Nowadays I am of the opinion that the precise language we use to describe these things is not terribly important. I’ve heard the same phenomenon described by wildly different people using wildly different language. I burned myself very bad doing chaos magick and so I took a long step back away from it for a while. However reading fiction novel Laurus by Eugene Vodolazkin was very inspiring for me and I find the title “Holy Fool” to be very appropriate for me.
I talk to God. God talks back. Deceased rapper XXXTENTACION is my patron saint of choice. I perform missions. There is palpable tension wherever I walk when I do not fulfill my duties. I talk to strangers. I eat out of trash cans. I laugh, cry, scream, blank. I exorcise suffering spirits and help them find light. I let go of myself and channel voices; I speak in tongues. I strive to be frank at all times at a level that is grotesquely human. I sage rooms. I do not hate evil. I pray. I do not feed Fear Eaters. I see them frequently. I try to focus on healing and forgiveness, on acceptance and courage.
I know I probably sound crazy or perhaps irritating in some way. I don’t know what to say. I’m not schizophrenic, although I definitely could get diagnosed easily if I wanted to. Perhaps schizophrenics know something we don’t. Spirituality to me is science we just don’t have the instruments to measure yet.
EDIT: Also, when I say that all beliefs have major truth to them…that to me includes ATHEISM. To me, reality is a thing where even contradictory things simply aren’t contradictory. We are ALL God…and perhaps oblivion is what happens when convergence happens.
Interesting story. I’m sympathetic to the idea that most religions point to at least some truth. Whether we are all one in our lack of self or our collectively being god. I believe magick can do real stuff and could therefore be measured as science, but as you say, it’s dangerous. Im skeptical of having X as your guardian or whatever as he’s pretty sus, but do what you will.
Wow, this looks very interesting, I look forward to listening to it!
(Feel no obligation to read the rest I’m just rambling it out)
spoiler
I’m largely, as they say, “making shit up” here but I would not be surprised by a whole lot of stuff that might be in this podcast episode.
To me, he absolutely made a pact–whether literally or less so–with the Devil/“the Devil,” which both gave him a lot of dark power that helped his ascension to fame and which also came back to bite him in the form of his murder when he “took off the leash” (he wore a loose chain like a leash dangling from his neck that he said the Devil used to pull him) and started radically changing his life for the positive; the Devil could not have one of its prized pawns suddenly using the vast power it had inherited to have such a potentially massive positive impact. Even though his goodness arc was relatively short (his whole life and all its eras were), the impact it already was having on people was profound, with whole droves of disaffected and suffering youth swearing by him and how he changed their lives and provided them comfort and counsel.
I think the danger to the Devil was not only in him talking about the power of the Mind (which can easily be transmuted into a tool for badness, just look at how most chaos magickians/etc. use/attempt to use their powers), not only saying he was going to sell all his jewelry, start a charitable foundation, buy everyone he in his life a house, giving emotional support and inspiration to countless young people, but most critically his political leanings.
I absolutely believe he was on a path to be a socialist, and a major figure for socialism in the USA, filling the niche 2Pac was meant to fill (gee, any wonder why he was suddenly murdered too…). His politics were becoming increasingly left-wing, both in his lyrics and in his interviews, nothing super extreme or definitive but you know the flirting one does with something they know little about but find interesting. He was coming in support of Black people, LGBTQ, poor people and tangible economic help for them, he was railing against the major parties and politicians, the business elite, the greed, he was a left wing populist. He even made those sort of flirty, edgy jokes about Kim Jong Un and other “dictators.” He expressed interest in talking avout politics (even when he didn’t have all the vocabulary) and a desire to learn more. I doubt he was going to pick up Lenin anytime soon but he cut to the source of the important issues and I doubt the Compatible Left would have been able to tame him, even with no theory to inform his decisions his base personality and convictions were just not going to allow that to happen IMO.
I believe the actions of otherworldly entities, no matter how powerful, are usually manifested by relatively low-cost “tweaks to the algorithm” to steer unwitting pawns at every junction towards the intended result in a very “butterfly effect” sort of way. I believe his murderers could very well be just some desperate dudes looking to hit a lick. However, with how deep occultism seems to go in the world of Western elites, who can say for sure…I also believe it possible his death could have been a conspiracy. Either way I think the evils of this society saw him as a threat, a powerful attack dog that suddenly changed sides (only “sudden” to those blinded by arrogance) and was going to use the infrastructure of evil against itself, a threat which had to be terminated immediately at all costs.
I will also say that I do not fear him in death. My personal belief/understanding is that people shed a lot of their Earthly bad upon death. I had an hour and a half long talk with him via a spirit medium (extremely shaking and convincing, probably solidified my entire spiritual belief and practice), and it was all very positive. He is very frank, a “soldier” as she (the medium) called him, but he had nothing but constructive words, nothing but peace and love and positivity and all that heartfelt woo woo nonsense.
I’m much more worried about participating in the rap game IRL in the physical plane than I am of his spirit. He very recently lifted me up to a position of strength when I was under assault from very strong negative entities. I truly do think he was on a dark path but he was always golden hearted and he made the definitive choice to fight for good shortly before his death.
That is the conclusion the podcast brings you (he made literal/figurative pact with the devil). I was not aware of his lefty leanings, though I’m not surprised when lil peep-may he rest in power- was one of us.
Like I said, I don’t think he had explicit leanings, I don’t think he had been given that vocabulary and his understanding may have taken years to develop, but analyzing lyrics to me belies a fundamental compatibility and trajectory towards MLism.
Thanks for reading all that, spirituality+X is like two of my four or five most major interests 😆