Have any queer vibes to share? Here’s your place! hexbear-pride

Talk about what’s happening queerly in your life - like coming out, getting HRT, questioning, and all that good stuff.

blob-no No cishets allowed! no-copyright

  • 🎀 Seryph (She/Her)@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
    15·
    1 year ago

    This week is when I get kicked out. Happened sooner than I expected it. I still have a few days before I need to actually leave but that’s not much consolation. I was packing my suitcase this morning and was close to hyperventilating the whole time. So I did some small euphoric things to give myself some comfort and it worked to calm my breathing but not much else. Right now I’m just sitting at my desk unable to really do anything even though I have a lot of homework to get through this week and I need to send out more job applications. I can’t even manage to force myself to play a game or read until I can get the motivation to do something. I feel probably the worst I’ve ever felt when not outright sick.

    The one saving grace is that I’m on break from classes all week and alone at home so I at least don’t have to feel ashamed about it like I usually would if I was around people.

    • 🎀 Seryph (She/Her)@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
      6·
      1 year ago

      Things feel much better now. Been a day since I left and while I cried a bit it wasn’t as bad as the previous days. My friends have been really helpful and we had a nice day out shopping for necessities. Probably going to stay with them for a few weeks then rent out the place I’ve been looking at, I just need to get a job for next semester first.

      I also decided to start a journal yesterday since I always wanted to but wanted to wait until it made sense. I figure becoming independent is the most sensible time to ever do it so I took a spare journal that I was planning on using for RPG stuff and wrote in it last night. It was very, very nice. I didn’t realise how cathartic it would be to write my feelings down like that. Like I’ve vented by ranting to friends (and more recently here) but writing in the journal gives me a stronger feeling somehow. I’m gonna have to start adding lines to the journal though, my handwriting is too messy for the simple dots it has

      On the whole feeling hopeful, just took a bit to get through the other emotions to reach this point. I’m sure my next updates won’t be as doom and gloom as the last few have been.