Men on dating sites:
Posting one of the few photos of themselves they have
Posting a photo they have where they’re actually happy and feeling a sense of accomplishmentOnly to be ignored by any actual women. Guaranteed to be accosted by bots and time wasting sex workers.
I don’t know how there are any straight men left on dating sites other than the “top 10%,” of course.
I dunno either.
And people wonder why incels are a thing…
Incel is a mindset, plenty of women will look past looks for people who make them laugh, or are interesting, or who do fun things with them.
When you show women 10000 photos and ask them to choose from them, yes they’ll go for looks, that’s all the signal they get.
My advice to incels is to find some fun hobbies, could be hiking or solitary things, as long as it makes you happy. When you’re happy, people will be drawn to you. If you focus on being butter and angry, people will sense that and avoid you.
There isn’t any excuse for incel behavior. Those guys are trash.
You misunderstand. I am not excusing the incel community. Any sympathy I had for them died years ago, and frankly I think any guy who thinks women deserve retribution because they won’t sleep with them is a fucking coward.
But here’s the thing, I think it’s a horrific symptom of our societal ills, not a cause. Inceldom is an economic issue first and foremost.
We are a society that profiteers from human misery in so many ways. Men are judged quite harshly for their wealth, status and their ability to provide, even when we’ve made great strides to bring about equality between the sexes. Wealth inequality has created a predominantly male underclass. This affects many things like being able to afford a home, access to physical and mental healthcare, etc.
Another thing that I think doesn’t help is how we’ve commodified sex in so many ways, but that’s a very deep subject that would take me way too long to go into.
Online dating specifically is a monopoly headed by just two parent companies. They want your experience to be as miserable as humanly possible so that they can sucker you into paying the cost of several MMO subscriptions just to use the premium tier of their apps.
The problem isn’t women, it’s that Bumble Inc and Match Group couldn’t give a flying FUCK about the integrity of their platforms. Socially awkward people depend on these apps to find love and their world view is being poisoned by a lack of interest from anybody who isn’t a bot, sex worker, scam artist or a lady from the other side of the world seeking to marry their way into their country.
I can understand that. Thank you for expanding on it.
90% of incels would be fine if they would get out of their own heads and stop being misogynistic.
I’m 5’5" and get laid plenty, I’ve seen ugly guys get laid, guys with small dicks get laid.
It’s a personality problem.
I’ve never taken a selfie but I do have some fish pics
Nobody wants to see dead animals on dating sites. I appreciate you have hobbies but you can just list them as an interest.
I wouldn’t have though seeing fish would be such a big deal to some. Then again, never used dating sites so wouldn’t know
Oh i don’t fish. Nice assumption.
I was talking shit about this to a group of friends one day, saying that how the hell do you think that’s a good idea and one of them piped up that he had a picture of him with a fish he caught and justified it as “showing them they can provide food”. I might as well have a picture of me in the fucking grocery store with a cart full of food with that logic. I asked him to ask some of his matches what they thought about it but I dont think he ever did. Needless to say I don’t think that man has actually gotten laid in a decade.
It’s called Plenty of Fish! I thought it was a fishing site?!
It’s got plenty of phishing alright
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Monkey brain say show women fish, man good hunter, women eat good, come back to cave
A pic where he is playing with kids might actually work in that primitive sort of way.
Living in the Midwest, this is also super common on women’s dating profiles. I’d estimate probably more than 1 out of every 10 has a fish
Yeah I’ve seen that on Facebook. I don’t get it.
When do you have pics taken of you? Especially as a man it can be that you have a very limited selection of pics. Selfies are another matter.
With friends and stuff.
Look at this guy, with his friends!
I’m joking, but of my friends I’m the only one who brings a camera to stuff and takes pictures, and everybody groans when I do it. If I weren’t there there’d be no pictures, and there are no pictures of me because I’m behind the camera!
Most guys just don’t take pictures of each other.
And a lot of guys don’t honestly have that many friends. Compoud those two and you won’t have much pics of you taken.
My wife’s circle of friends is much larger than my own, so this wouldn’t surprise me.
I saw a study from Finland that said that most men only have a few friends, a lot don’t have any. I guess I’m typical in the sense that I have a few friends and we don’t see that often. So not many photos of me taken by friends.
Of course there’s cultural aspect here, we Finns are what we are and also maybe other languages or cultures use the word more casually etc. But from what I’ve seen and read online, I don’t think having zero to only few friends is a Finnish peculiarity but rather pretty common at least in the West or maybe just Northern Europe and similar-ish cultures.
Lmao
I think someone is really fishing for compliments here.
This smells a little bit fishy.
I can neither confirm nor deny the rumor that Ryan Gosling’s trailer on set always smelled of fish.
There is no need to be on such a high perch about all this.
Margot, it sounds like you’re a bit jelly of the fish
I’m an actress, not a jellyfish, you silly billy!
The last time I made anything like a profile for tinder was when I made one for PoF back in the before times, in the long-long ago, the year 2007. I didn’t have fish pictures, but I did have a picture of me riding a unicycle.
It was more effective than I expected.
It’s called plenty of fish for a reason, you’re supposed to post pictures with fish.
I think I’d enjoy that.
It is customary among her people that the man bring a leg of a lingta to the first courtship dinner. Make sure it’s fresh, as if you had just killed it. Then use the leg to sweep aside everything on the table and declare in a loud voice, “I have brought you this! From this day, I wish to provide food for you and your House! All I ask is to share your company and do honor to your name!”
That’s what we call an attention getter!
It’s actually spelt LIngta’ but maybe closer to LIngt’a’ or to be specific a LIngt’a’ Haj’dob mev’obDeSna. Translated to English is roughly ‘I am certain that this Lingta leg will feed you’. But Klingons are lazy so it’s shortened to LIngta.
You gotta understand just how few pictures men have of themselves. Most of us aren’t randomly taking selfies; a lot of us don’t even have pictures of us with our friends.
The point is the effort. Dating takes effort. If you can’t even make the effort to ensure you get a nice pic or two of yourself, how much effort are you going to put into a relationship?
There are very easy ways to take pics of yourself without it being a selfie nowadays. Phone tripods with Bluetooth remotes exsist for $25 off Amazon.
“We just don’t have pics of ourselves.” …so take some, instead I of just rolling over and saying “oh well.”
Removed by mod
quickly jots down notes, “go fishing… catch fish… show to barbie.” got it, now what? I’m recently single after a long marriage, HOW DO I ATRACT WOMEN?11!?!
You have women friends? Have them make your dating profile if you want to date online. Seriously. They’ll make you sound awesome while telling the truth. Chances are at least one of them is good at taking pictures.
Thanks. The comment was for comedic effect, but when I’m ready to date I’ll use this advice.
HOW DO I ATRACT WOMEN?11!?!
Excessive amounts of Axe or Old Spice. Those ads would never lie about their efficiency!
This is the helpful advice I was looking for! Heh
20 years later…. Why am I still single?!?1 I followed expert advice from Lenny!!!
Talk to them. Just put a picture of yourself smiling nicely on your dating app and listen. Be a good dude.
You effectively can’t just talk to women on dating sites. Thanks to how matching works, you have to successfully sell yourself with pictures to get your profile read, and successfully sell yourself with words in the profile before you can actually talk with anyone.
Back before matching was a thing, it wasn’t much better. You could talk but you’d usually be ignored because the woman’s inbox would be filled with too much crap for her to go through it all.
To be honest I’ve never used a dating site, I’m too old.
Lucky you.
Just put a picture of yourself smiling nicely on your dating app
About that … https://healthland.time.com/2011/05/27/advice-for-online-daters-if-youre-a-guy-dont-smile/
I can say that would turn me off.
Yeah, it’s a broad generalization, and the article is 12 years old so trends may have changed since then.
Maybe because I’m almost 50 and tired, but I just want someone who is nice to me.
I gave up after my second divorce, I hope you have better luck. Beware, most seem to be looking for free everything with no work for them.
I know a fair amount of girls from Minnesota and Oregon who would like that because they’re into fishing themselves. They grew up fishing with their fathers.
YOOOO LOOK AT DIS BARBIE! I found these fishes inside the car
well if it would work for me it should work for women, right?
do fishkeeping
is science and more interesting
Highly agree. I love fishkeeping, so finding a dude that likes it too would be great… as long as they semi-understand what they’re talking about. No tropical fish without heaters, or tanks that aren’t properly cycled for example…
Bears love men who fish, they’re trying to attract bears.
