I think the disconnect comes from the double meaning of weird. You can be “makes people uncomfortable” weird, but you can also be “it’s fine” weird, and the distinction for those is heavily subjective from the perspective of the other person.

From the way you write, you clearly find yourself the “uncomfortable” kind of weird, but that doesn’t mean your peers feel the same way, even if they agree that you’re odd.

So they might err on the side of caution with “you’re fine” because good luck engaging in a thorough conversation over the meanings of words with sober neurotypical people.

So there are three main options for this kind of answer:

1. They think you talk weird in a way that makes them uncomfortable, but don’t want to tell you because they think this is rude (this is always the worst case scenario if you don’t have the allistic mind reader implant);

2. They think you talk weird in a way that’s benign, maybe even endearing or interesting, but either only understand the “uncomfortable” meaning (and therefore you don’t match their concept of “weird”), or don’t want to put in the effort to explain the nuance.

3. Your behaviour patterns don’t actually deviate that much from the standard of normality to an outside viewer, and you’re projecting your thoughts about yourself on them. This is more likely than you think as you’re the only person who has to live in your own skin 24/7.

Edit: just to make it clear, it’s even possible that you’re perceived as all three between different sets of people.

It’s fucking difficult to criticise someones manners, doubly so if it’s stuff that isn’t rude but just “off”. Just the thing that seems “weird” is already difficult to put into words that aptly describe it, then take into account that you want to put it in polite/non-offensive terms plus an offer of a solution plus that you have your own weird quirks you are conscious about and top it all off with what seems weird to you might not even be that weird generally and you have a task that seems so difficult “just” to correct someone talking “a bit strange”. And even if you somehow were able to put into words an objectively improvable mannerism, in a way that maximises the possibilty of the other not taking it to heart emotionally speaking, what effort must it be for the other to then improve said mannerism?

vs.

“Oh no you’re fine don’t worry about it”.

From the neurotypicals perspective that’s a hell of a lot effort for both them and you for (at least what seems to them) very little gain. I don’t know how to overcome that unfortunately. Maybe ask them how they would have phrased something if they are reluctant to offer criticism. It might be easier for them to think about it in terms of what they would have done rather than how you could improve. But that’s guesswork.

Also I’d like to add that I have someone in my family who I believe has autism and behaves a bit “off”. And I would rather they make cringey but genuine remarks than the learned, almost pavlovian, responses to what I say when talking with them. I have known them for a couple years now, but never heard what they actually think.

Pretty sure they just dont want to be rude

You could do an acting class

A lot of the examples in the first and second paragraphs also apply to me. I’ve been paranoid about this since at least my early teens.

And yet lots of people seem to like me. Maybe it’s a lot of listening and being patient? Maybe I come off as really non-threatening? Maybe it’s a fawning instinct from persistent hostility in childhood? Maybe I have exciting parts of myself that make up for the awkward quirks? Maybe people around me are just really gracious about me? I’ll never know exactly.

There’s also an extent of “it’s only awkward if you allow it to be” for some things. If there’s something that is classed as awkward by a social script, but you keep going honestly and naturally, you can overpower that social script. Sometimes.

Who are the people that you are asking?