running a picture of myself through the app fifty times instead of getting an MRI

i would try to design a series of trials to determine which of you were hotter starting with the obvious feats of strength and riddles and what have you but i would be forced to consult the nation’s three wisest sages after you tied in every event and the first one would say that since you existed in different locations one of you must have walked an extra two steps and must therefore be more fit but the wisest sage would point out that that you might have been somehow clonebirthed at an offset position so i would behead the first sage and then the second sage would suggest that if you were truly indistinguishable both options would result in the same outcome but the wisest sage would point out that should a method of distinguishing between the two be developed later i might run the risk of being exposed as having chosen the lesser twin and the second sage would say but there is no such method my lord and the wisest sage would say ah my lord but i have invented one and so i would obviously behead the second sage and then i would ask the wisest sage how i could choose between the two of you when by all measures you were identical and the wisest sage would say ah my lord but one of them is more lucky and he would flip a coin to assign a winner and when the coin had landed and i had found the luckier twin i would reward the wisest sage with 1000 gold pieces and then i would fuck the unlucky one because she would have lower self esteem

dinosaurs may have had big honkers there’s simply no way to know whether or not they had big mommy milkers the soft tissue of the gazongas is not preserved in the fossil record experts are divided on the question of whether dinosaurs had huge jugs each outcome is equally likely there is a fifty percent chance that every dinosaur was blessed with real big hoohas

u/betajizz

you know why I’m here

yeah personally i was hoping they’d give the role to margo martindale

whoa, was Voldemort after them?

not a lemmy user

it’s idiotic of CNN to report this as like a scientific disagreement. this is a disagreement among scientists about what is politically feasible. so now status quo politicians get to use this as an arrow in their quiver to dispute the necessity of even aiming for a 1.5 degree target, as if the targets are beholden to the models, and not the other way around

i feel kinda silly about this but the pixel buds pro got me to admit that one of my ear canals is apparently bigger than the other. they have some kind of automated fitment test that you can run to determine which tips to use and it told me to mismatch mine, which had honestly never occurred to me as an option because surely my body is perfectly symmetrical, right?. anyways, so they get some bonus points for seal quality in my book.

your hair is super nice

damn, got me commenting with the porn account

i disagree with that, you can use a handheld drill to drive screws but that’s not what it’s for, it’s for making holes in shit with drill bits. you can also buy little sanding discs for your handheld drill but nobody’s calling it a drill sander