So I’m fairly social for someone like me and have done my fair share of talking to people as well as toward people, some talks being more passionate than others, so I guess having my odds of this reduced is a factor here when I say occasionally “projecting” will be brought up during a conversation. One should “stop projecting” they might say. It’s always in an accusatory kind of context, with being described a certain way by someone else often being connected to the latter person fitting what they’re thinking of.
Is this… a meme for a lack of a better word? Where does this conceivably come from? Seeing such a thing all the time, I can’t fathom the mindset, it seems so faulty my mind groups it in with grievance misapplication. Why would someone play hot potato with things even deemed to be things nobody should be handling like it’s second nature? How could someone in control subconsciously see instinct in this? What happened the last time this came up for you, when did it turn out to be the case?
In this context “projecting” is a fancy “no u”, used to imply that you’re claiming that someone has an attribute not because the person has it, but because you do.
It isn’t quite a meme, just one of those “catch-all” idiotic defences. Typically given by people who care more about appearances than the validity of a claim (i.e. stupid thus harmful people).
EDIT: it’s relevant to note that I’m being fairly specific when I say “this context”, the context specified by the OP in the first paragraph: people discussing, and one claims/implies that another is projecting in an accusatory way. I am not criticising the actual psychological concept that this pseudo-psychological crap comes from. Is this clear?
Why is it seen so often in discussions of psychology, which make it out like it’s that kind of phenomenon?
It is an actual phenomenon in psychology, where you assign a set of your attributes that you consider undesirable to another person. It works like a defence mechanism to stabilise the psyche. It is not that commonly discussed though - except perhaps in psychoanalysis.
And that’s exactly why those “keyboard psychologists” (who are neither psychologists, nor informed laymen) repurposed the term into the “no u!” defence that I mentioned. It’s simply too good of an excuse when someone criticises them, an easy way to turn the criticism against the critic.