Sometimes I think about the person I am and think to myself, why? Why can’t I just be like everyone else? I hate the person I am. Why am I so different to everyone else?

I’ve been thinking a lot about god recently. Buddha, Allah and Christ If there is one and why would he design me the way he did? Sometimes I feel like I was never made for this world. I have so many things wrong with me I feel like I’m broken. I have two personality disorders, an intellectual disability and speech impediments. Why would a god make me like this? I can’t fit in my existence is socially unacceptable. I made a thread the other day asking the question of why NPD is so stigmatized and the comments where so hateful. They where saying I’m manipulative, dangerous and abusive just I have a mental health problem that is completely beyond my control. Non of these idiots have ever met me or know what I’m like yet were saying all these awful things about me. God knows what your average person believes. I have friends and family I love but I’m worried about how they would react if they found out. Why can’t people see beyond my diagnosis and understand that I’m a person like anyone else who has problems. I’m seeing this guy. I known about him for a year now and we’ve been on two dates and planning on more. I love him to bits and want nothing more than to be with him. I’ve been researching him for a while. Finding out his interests and hobbies so I can make it work. I hope I can make an impression on him so if he does found out he can look beyond all the media hype and love me for who I am.

I just want people to like me. Why would a god give me something so stigmatized? I honestly just wish I had never been born in the first place.

  • iiiEnglish
    82·
    6 days ago

    There’s no god, friend

      • I'm_All_NEET:3@lemmy.mlOPEnglish
        21·
        6 days ago

        We can’t. My life story is not being able to do whatever I want. I wanted to be a nurse but I didn’t have the grades, I wanted to have the grades but school was too hard, I wanted to be a programmer but I just couldn’t do it, I wanted to go to university but again I didn’t have the grades, I wanted to read books but I don’t have the attention span ect… ect… I could go on all day. All my friends from school have moved away and done better things while I’m still stuck in my childhood town. Most of my brothers and sisters are all in university or done something with there life while I’m just a NEET loser.

        • Valmond@lemmy.worldEnglish
          3·
          6 days ago

          Sorry to hear that, the universe is crappy for us human beings.

          But then you should probably just roll with it? Can’t change it? Accept and live with it. Easy to say but it can be a good choice IMO.

          Good luck whatever you do.

          • I'm_All_NEET:3@lemmy.mlOPEnglish
            13·
            6 days ago

            “But then you should probably just roll with it?”

            Yeah bro, your life may be total shit but have you considered just not caring about it? I mean how does the quality of your life affect you personally?

            • Valmond@lemmy.worldEnglish
              2·
              5 days ago

              Yeah sure sorry if I came around as an asshole. I didn’t detect any depression or similar in your post, so I tried to give some advice from someone who have gone through some stuff.

              Good luck anyway!

                • Valmond@lemmy.worldEnglish
                  1·
                  5 days ago

                  No, it was the “call” for being the small fish in a big bowl for a while.

                  Get a job at mcdonalds, experience the world, find out what’s it all about and what you want and can do.

                  That is part if what I did and it was hard but it turned out very well. YMMV.

                  Hint: happiness isn’t that simple, it won’t come with a diploma.

                  • I'm_All_NEET:3@lemmy.mlOPEnglish
                    1·
                    5 days ago

                    It’s not about having a diploma it’s about having so many restrictions on what I can or can’t do. There has been many times where I’ve been interested in something but I didn’t have the mental ability to do it. I remember in school how I needed to put in all my effort just to catch up with the other kids. When I was a teen I had to come to terms with the fact I may never be as advanced as everyone else no matter how hard I tried.