if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don’t get defensive. just say like “sorry, i won’t do it again” and don’t argue “actually it’s gender neutral” or “i call everyone dude”. even if you do, i guarantee she’s heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have
same goes double for the word guy.
What I’m trying to communicate is that it’s still your opinion. It’s not an “Alternative take that i dont necessarily beleive in but has been bouncing around in my head a while.” It’s ok to be wrong about things, but you’re trying to put your “alternative take” into the conversation without ever having to accept criticism for having it.
Sure, I’m being (mildly) offensive, and I don’t really see much future for this is a productive conversation either.