We’re like to extend our most sincere apologies for today’s downtime, explain the issue, and talk about what we’ll be doing going forward.
Late last night or early this morning, an owl entered the server room and, unsurprisingly, pissed on everything. We had to drag them out of a corner where they’d started building a nest out of CAT5 cables. After checking with all our keyholders, we determined that they had not tricked someone into lending them the keys this time, and nobody had left a window open. We have not found their entry point yet, but we suspect we are getting closer (we’ve found a large pile of shit near one of the vents).
We managed to dry one server off and get the website running again, but unfortunately we only have 1 hair dryer and will need a few more days to dry the rest of the servers and get the site fully operational.
Going forward, our plan is:
- Cover outside AC vents and similar in chicken wire
- assess and reinforce weak points in the building’s structure
- tape old CDs to the building to reflect the sun and scare them away
- attack roosting spikes to the server racks
- stop keeping open, uncovered cans of beans at our desks
We are also looking into hiring a falconer as a more active deterrent.
Thank you for your patience in such a difficult time.
I called the whole Ukraine/Palestine bent leaving you guys helpless and unhappy too. Like just the other day a guy was getting mad at me for pointing out defeatism on the behalf of the Palestinians is inappropriate and unwarranted. I speak to you because I understand nobody would act like you unless you were in deep pain and suffering from a shattered identity. Maybe eventually some of it will sink in. But after seeing people still wandering around talking about how “Russia is putting Ukrainians in a war zone and the USA is sending weapons to stop it” I guess I have to write off the old sub. Would be nice if we had a Ship of Theseus thing going here, but we both know that isn’t true. You know how much of the activity here is all “regulars”.
I don’t give snide advice to people I hate. You deserve to know better than spending years doing online performing arts in the hopes nobody notices, but at the same time everyone does. You deserve better than trying to fix commonwealth countries. Move to a country that’s doing MAOIST AGRICULTURE and RAISE THE DEVELOPMENT LEVEL. Stop participating in the activist-NGO complex that has robbed you of hope and agency! Or die!