I’m scared to transition because I have this feeling that everyone around me only likes me for my boobs and butt
My whole life I’ve basically been told by people around me and by the movies I watch that my worth comes 90% from my body and now I want to change that? I’ve learned how to use my body to charm people and because I’m pretty desperate for attention I’m scared I’ll lose that as well.
csa
When I was a kid I always wanted to be part of the boys group, but it happened more than once that those boys saw my eagerness to hang out with them and they used that to violate me.
I’d really like to talk with a professional about this while I transition but the only option to transition for me is if I pay it myself and with as little appointments as possible because there’s way too much demand for transgender healthcare. So I’m scared to make the decision to start hrt because I won’t have anyone to guide me through it.
Those are all normal apprehensions, I’m on the other side of the binary but feelings are similar. Just because they’re typical concerns doesn’t mean they shouldn’t feel big - they should and do - but you’re hardly the first and only man to feel the way you do. Which means you can overcome these even though they are very big problems and anxieties.
Firstly, for me and many trans people, HRT was the best decision of our lives. T is different than E, it works much faster and does different stuff but the feeling is still there.
Secondly, IF YOU CHOOSE you can keep your curves. There are curvy cis guys, they’re hot, there are trans guys that choose to keep them and they’re very handsome. You don’t have to, top surgery can take down your chest (and you get to customize if you have nipples or not which is neat).
Considering the abuse you’ve been through, you probably should be going to therapy - that’s a lot of trauma. You’re very strong for how far you’ve come. Yeah everything takes time, but you can take diy HRT prior to getting a prescription for it. If there are any IRL lgbt support groups you should join them (careful, you’ll probably come away with a new romantic partner from it lol happens to all of us). Hopefully there’s another trans guy there who can help guide you, especially if you’re going down the diy route.
To me, I think it’s totally a cool coincidence that the feminizing hormones are gentle and take their time and the masculinizing hormone goes hard and quick but it kinda sucks here for you. You can stop any time, it’s allowed. You can stop and pick it back up. You can choose not to start HRT! That’s a valid way of being a trans man (sounds like you’d rather have it though).
You sound like a very strong, tough man and I wish the best for you.
I’m in therapy for my trauma but the clinic I go to can’t help me with any gender related issues I have. But joining a support group is a great idea and I hadn’t really considered that option lol thanks for the suggestion
cw oversharing and dysphoria
I’m scared to transition because I have this feeling that everyone around me only likes me for my boobs and butt
My whole life I’ve basically been told by people around me and by the movies I watch that my worth comes 90% from my body and now I want to change that? I’ve learned how to use my body to charm people and because I’m pretty desperate for attention I’m scared I’ll lose that as well.
csa
When I was a kid I always wanted to be part of the boys group, but it happened more than once that those boys saw my eagerness to hang out with them and they used that to violate me.
I’d really like to talk with a professional about this while I transition but the only option to transition for me is if I pay it myself and with as little appointments as possible because there’s way too much demand for transgender healthcare. So I’m scared to make the decision to start hrt because I won’t have anyone to guide me through it.
Those are all normal apprehensions, I’m on the other side of the binary but feelings are similar. Just because they’re typical concerns doesn’t mean they shouldn’t feel big - they should and do - but you’re hardly the first and only man to feel the way you do. Which means you can overcome these even though they are very big problems and anxieties.
Firstly, for me and many trans people, HRT was the best decision of our lives. T is different than E, it works much faster and does different stuff but the feeling is still there.
Secondly, IF YOU CHOOSE you can keep your curves. There are curvy cis guys, they’re hot, there are trans guys that choose to keep them and they’re very handsome. You don’t have to, top surgery can take down your chest (and you get to customize if you have nipples or not which is neat).
Considering the abuse you’ve been through, you probably should be going to therapy - that’s a lot of trauma. You’re very strong for how far you’ve come. Yeah everything takes time, but you can take diy HRT prior to getting a prescription for it. If there are any IRL lgbt support groups you should join them (careful, you’ll probably come away with a new romantic partner from it lol happens to all of us). Hopefully there’s another trans guy there who can help guide you, especially if you’re going down the diy route.
To me, I think it’s totally a cool coincidence that the feminizing hormones are gentle and take their time and the masculinizing hormone goes hard and quick but it kinda sucks here for you. You can stop any time, it’s allowed. You can stop and pick it back up. You can choose not to start HRT! That’s a valid way of being a trans man (sounds like you’d rather have it though).
You sound like a very strong, tough man and I wish the best for you.
Thanks for the super nice response:)
I’m in therapy for my trauma but the clinic I go to can’t help me with any gender related issues I have. But joining a support group is a great idea and I hadn’t really considered that option lol thanks for the suggestion