Fun fact: all dogs speak English, because Americans do not give a fuck about social customs.

German dogs are incredibly well-behaved. They’re stringently trained and trusted to stay put when told, to the extent that owners routinely take them shopping, and leave them just inside the front door, where they will wait patiently and mind their own business.

Unless they hear someone speaking English. Then they get all wiggly and worry about getting caught, because they know Americans will give them scritches and tell them they’re cute.