No, thank you for the wall of text! I enjoy this type of discussion and even more so on spanish and portuguese.

I really find interesting the connection you make with the Caribbean dialects. There has been a great influx of venezuelans and cubans in the south of Brazil and I’m astonished by the similarities that they share with portuguese, sometimes in the choice of vocabulary, some other times in grammatical constructions, and I’ve already heard a cuban or two pronounce /r/ as is done in portuguese.