I just want people to look at me and think “damn that’s a girl.”

I think it’s worth interrogating this feeling. I’m someone who will probably never “pass”, but I’ve found immense solidarity with (especially racialised) cis women who will also never be looked at and perceived that way, since to some extent you have to adhere to white beauty standards to be seen as “that girl” who is worth loving and protecting on-sight. Looking into the connection between fatphobia and racism helped me unpack this a lot.

Of course I could just be interpreting your feelings through the lens of my own experience, so take it as you will.