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IMPORTANT SITE REMINDERS ARE LISTED AFTER THIS RANT (so please read all of it in order to find the rules >:3)
On this mega I shall take the opportunity to rant about one of my favorite things: the Webnovel UNJUST DEPTHS!
Do you love transgenders?
Do you love communism?
Do you love queer romance?
Do you love killing fascists in a giant fucking mech?
Would a plotline with all of these things happening in a underwater retro-futuristic gundam setting intrigue you?
Especially if its actually really well written with good characters, rich worldbuilding, and a marxist leninist transfem author?
All of the answers should be: YES I DO or else I WILL BAN YOU
Since you obviously love all of those things then Unjust Depths is perfect for YOU yes YOU! It is DESTINY
The Imbrian Ocean is at a time of severe instability. The monarch of the vast Empire that spans its unjust depths (:3) is sick and nearing death, every territory of the ocean now vying to carve their own Destiny out of the chaos. From the Volk fascists 
, Zionists 
(they literally will not die why are they still here oh my god), The ‘Anarchists’ (social chauvanists) 
in Bosporus, and the monarchs 
of each vast noble domain, each vies for power and prestige no matter who they crush underfoot, but it would be a pretty depressing story without a bright light in the dark.
On the edge of the Empire sits the glorious Union! The (Soviet) Union 
is a socialist federation of three states (and one anarchist mountain 
)that were formerly slave colonies under the Imbrian Empire until they broke away in a fierce liberation war. They have spent the last 20 years since then building themselves up. Whether they be Human 
, Shimmi 
(Catgirls who usually follow a religion closely related to modern Islam), and Kattaran 
(a hybrid humanoid species with characteristics of sea life ranging from sharks to cuttlefish)building socialism side by side.
First lead under the revolutionary leader Dashka Kansal, then the Idealist Ahwalia who lead the country to near ruin in pursuit of building a utopia on pillars of sand, then under the scientific socialist 
leadership of the Grand Marshall of the Union, Bhavani Jayanskar (I love Jayanskar so much shes basically as if Stalin, Lenin, and Zhukov were rolled into the same person but was a black lesbian badass who wore the uniform REALLY WELL)(she aint the main character at all tho shes only in very few scenes i just love her so much). Under Jayanskar, the Union has been growing their economy to both eliminate hunger and give everyone a home 
, but also growing their military capabilities for the inevitable return of the Empire. The Union is alone, but with the people by its side nothing, not even Destiny, can snuff out true freedoms light. 
As war wages between the Empire and Republic (basically underwater USA) once more over the lands between them, the facade begins to finally crack…
And a border conflict between the Empire and Union escalate, and the dreaded reconquest begins.
Amidst this turmoil, lives our main characters (yes there are multiple and all of them are lovely). Each of whom I personally love dearly, and are very well characterized. Many are soldiers of the Union, some are scientists, some are divers (mech pilots), some are lost strands finding new meaning after joining this band of Brigands
All are Communists 
All serve the Union 
All would gladly give their lives to defending socialism 
but even they would have little inkling of the adventure set in store for them as the lands beneath the waves erupt in fire, fury, and revolt
Can these transgender badasses kick fascist ass?
Can they kiss? (oh my god please kiss ISTG THERE IS SO MUCH SHIPPING AHHHH ITS GLORIOUS)
FIND OUT HERE: https://unjustdepths.com/
please do or else I will pout incessantly
just try it pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase i need to talk to someone about it after Cromalin went AFK
(I miss her, she was a real one)
REALLY IMPORTANT RULES BELOW, MUST READ
Join our public Matrix server! https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat
As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Here’s a fun thingy: you can read my posts about it from the beginning, which would be funny. It is a grand slam for representation in fiction honestly.
waow, you think i should put it before orange book?
No, read Orange Book first. Depths is good slop but Orange Book is quasi theory.
spoiler
damn i have been missing out gonna have to smash out orange quick then
It’s a short but startlingly cool scene. I was and continue to be a big fan. Gay…
super based, only sad thing about being monogamous is i can only be gay in fiction
Gotta get your gay somewhere
true, also watching you and magi be adorable, very cute
We’re just silly
got it! i am slow on books but i’ll try to do some reading tonight, i might give Gender Outlaw a bit of a break and come back to it later
waow all of these posts are actually the most based feed, how’d you filter it like that? or are you just that unfathomably cool in every post? :)
Click “Search”, by creator ashinadash, sort old!
are you implying that you got less based over time? i dont think that’s true
Oh, no I just sorted by Old so the first posts I made about Unjust Depths would come first. My posting is always improving
ngl i want to read these posts
Uh I have posted about stuff here, mostly horrifyingly overpersonal sex and trauma posts. Maybe change the search word to “sex” lol. I stayed off of posting about hot t4t spidermommy erotica though because volcel.
feels like i should make some of those too just to balance it out, i don’t like knowing more about people than they know about me, but i’ll take a look regardless
I actually do appreciate that because sometimes it ends up where the gutspilling is uneven, but my public posts are for public viewing :) Here’s a fun one to read lol.
wow, that was actually fucking amazing, thank you for sharing! i actually … can relate in some ways, as I’m sure you can guess regarding my earlier posts.
evening the scales, nsfw (although i am TOTALLY working at the same time lol) (sorry if this is against the rules or too much idk)
I have Complicated thoughts about sex.
i’ve had what i think are autosexual tendencies regarding dressing a certain way etc, as well as kink stuff, when i was young i liked to do self-bondage. (sorry if this is tmi!!! sorry if all this is tmi!!!)
even if i am intimate with someone else, i still enjoy being intimate with myself, even right after, or on my own schedule. it’s like i have two separate sex drives (and the intimacy-with-other-people drive is very low)
i don’t get aroused to want to f someone ever, or haven’t in a while, usually my partner needs to do some Konami code shit that neither of us have figured out and the stars need to align and finally i’ll be like “ok i want you to touch me.” if it weren’t for all the other stuff i’d call myself acespike.
for some reason, reading fiction absolutely is a component in this, wayhaven got me all
as well as much much more embarrassing shit
my partner is not very toppy, like at all, and while i used to be very active in the kink scene and liked the idea of people topping me and doing M/s stuff etc, the real thing was nothing like the fantasy at all and i chafed against it really hard. I think my partner can tell, so we rarely do any power exchange (and he’s not into it on his own, he just likes doing things i like which makes it hard if indeed i am looking to feel his arousal at topping me)
i’m very sensitive sensorally, but it can be very difficult to actually connect with someone during because i am fantasizing about something else that i read or saw somewhere.
i feel kinda awful about this because sex is supposed to be about connection with a person, but instead i’m thinking about sexy vampires or clothes i could be wearing that i think are sexy or whatever! wtf
i have trouble dressing “sexy” because of brainworms, but i fantasize about it, so i thought kink could help here, but i am just too stubborn and i think that it’s a part of me that wants someone to push past my boundaries, but since that’s fucked up and not actually hot, just trying to force myself to be more ok than i am, it doesn’t work.
i did poly for a while, but got very hurt and burned from it, but i still have trouble setting boundaries with people (and of course everyone has a different definition of “friendship” vs “relationship”, i’m pretty messed up in this regard, i find hugging my parents and friends difficult, but secretly want to rest my head in a trans lesbian’s lap and hear them talk about their special interests to their partner and just kinda enjoy the empathetic comfort and feelings of their relationship (oh god well i guess that’s not secret anymore mega cringe)) at all so i’m afraid of having crushes as i don’t want to hurt my partner because he is the sweetest guy on the earth, and i don’t want to threaten that relationship.
what is a crush, anyway? i’ve had lots of crushes throughout my life i think, and i wonder how many have actually been sexual desire or if i just misattribute the feeling i get from some people when i like them of “I WANT TO BE BEST FRIENDS NOW AND TALK TO YOU EVERY DAY LATE INTO THE NIGHT” as a romantic crush because of the intensity and NT expectations. damn, my brain is weird
i probably need to reframe all of this now that i realize i feel other people’s emotions strongly. i wonder how many times i’ve been aroused that i was actually feeling some else’s arousal (the answer is probably a lot more than zero)? what is mine? i’m not sure if i have any outside of myself!
ok, i scared myself when i wrote this all out, welp
i am probably gonna delete this later lol,
Wtf no, you’re welcome but wtf you are scarred for life now smh. Big scary sex post. That’s cool though :)
spoiler
Weh! I’m glad you said all this stuff, it’s really darn cool and I appreciate it, but don’t be pushing past your limits or anything, okay? Do what makes you comfortable y’know.
even longer sorry!
starting from the end on this one
tbh i thought you were going to think i was creepy or that someone else was gonna come in here and make fun of me or i was gonna get banned lol, but it’s such a relief to get all of this off my chest so i did it anyway … plus i think you understand me pretty well and i might learn something too.
true, i had some close calls, luckily no hospital trips required. parents only caught me once, scarred me for life tho
i was doing the thing where you feel so called out by something that you turn it into a joke as i didn’t know about it until i read about it (and would have thought it was super weird). but uhhh yeah it seems to be a real thing that i feel! i have had crushes on fictional characters throughout my life, and it has always been a source of shame, so i buried it even from myself.
YES, THIS!!! i could have written this exact paragraph!!! (I keep thinking bottom surgery will make insertive fun since the reasons i don’t like the insertive stuff i can do are … well, i’m sure you can guess. who knows if that’s actually the case though)
if i’m being really honest i’m not sure if i want to have anyone really to do this stuff with, it being my own thing means i don’t have to mediate for someone else’s desires at all.
I tried to write on emotional intimacy twice and erased both because I don’t feel like I have a good handle on it. I don’t think the following is 100% figured out yet so don’t hold me to this:
emotional intimacy (not in the sexual sense here anymore, i’m not sure i have a sexual version of this) for me is rare in the sense that i really trust only my partner right now to be vulnerable around in person (it’s way easier online over text since i can mediate my reactions and process things more), but i’ve only just shared my previous post with him as this is all new to me. it comes from conversations or touch, but i don’t think it’s sexual for me.
this is why it’s so difficult for me to find the line between relationship and friendship, because i have no idea how to fit any of those things into those two boxes. if i wanted to cuddle my friends, would they think it was a romantic thing? would my partner? would i? gah
fuck yes (also lmao at your phrasing) i do this when the bf is out, sometimes i go all out even, even the guilt afterwards has lately been really minimal lmao. so glad i’m not the only one and that it can be a positive thing.
if i’m being honest, i’m probably naturally more inclined to poly just with the way that I can attach to and get very emotionally close to people if I’m not careful, but i found it very hard to get my needs met and there was a severe lack of stability and it was all so sex-focused, so i was just left feeling kinda empty and unfulfilled.
my ideal situation would be to have my partner be my safe person (heretofore I will refer to him as Safe Partner) and maybe just have people (or maybe a couple) that I can be really emotionally close to, so i can experience gayness secondhand. But, I’m worried whether I would enjoy that in practice, and what my needs would be in that situation, so it’s gonna be fantasy for now. Of course I want to be really really mindful of Safe Partner’s feelings about it, and everyone’s, and I really would not want to hurt anyone. I guess I have unicorn fantasies, but not in a sexual way, which was the mistake I made before.
yep absolutely i feel this:
re.
i try to keep a tight lid on this one, but if i didn’t i would too. i actually have a protective part of me reminding me if i get too like this “she called you paranoid last week” or really pointing out any flaw to keep me from getting hurt (I was called creepy a LOT for this when I was younger, as all my feelings would swirl together and I wouldn’t know how to express them and I would get very intense). i think that my biggest desire right now is to find some friends that can make that protective part feel safe enough to truly relax around people :)
so cute asdsdfjsdlkfjrtj
yep! i think it’s good though! i’m finally starting to understand some stuff. (plus, fuck work amirite it’s nearly 4pm already and i’ve done like 10 minutes today lmao, staring at a spreadsheet right now that i just do not care about)
it’s so nice to have you take it so seriously as i put a lot of thoughts into these. thank you so much. i do feel very comfortable talking to you both (and if anyone else sees it, well not like they know where i live lol). it’s possible i’m just one of several chatters to you and i’ll probably never match your posting power but i am so glad to have found the two of you to talk with, i feel very seen anyway :)
i feel like i’ve barely scratched the surface here for myself, waow it’s gonna take like 100 more posts to get to the bottom of this