I got a COVID infection a while ago that permanently disabled me pretty bad. Bedridden, unable to move much, etc.
The thing that really helped me was relaxing and listening to music. That’s what I spent my days doing as I couldn’t do much else. I became a real music nerd and just loved the bliss of hearing music.
A little later (two years). I got another COVID infection — I was taking very strong precautions, and couldn’t see anyone. It turns out I got it from my doctor. Anyways, this infection caused some brain damage which has caused me to mostly loose the ability to hear. And now I’m still mostly motionless alone in bed, but I haven’t even got the comfort of sound or music. Just a mostly silent (tinnitus filled) world.
I’m so scared of getting covid again. But mostly I miss the world and my old life. Being stuck alone in bed with only the internet for company sucks. People tend to be arseholes online. I can’t help but feel I got “natural selectioned”. Me and my wife were planning on having kids soon. Now I barely see her and I’m going to slowly die in a nursing home. There are specific genetic vulnerabilities to illnesses, and natural selection works with them (see what Europeans coming to America did). And I got fucked here. COVID was my end.
Nothing but feels for you friend, that’s rough and I can’t imagine what it must be like. I too am coming to grips with my own disabilities, a spine injury putting me into a wheelchair. Losing a sense on top of everything else you mentioned is horrific.
If I may be so bold, I found a lot of peace, zen and understanding in the book “What doesn’t kill you”. I recently finished and it was incredibly gratifying to read about how other people struggle with life changing medical events.