Hi. I’m new to Lemmy so I thought I’d break the ice with this introductory post. I’m from Romania. Please be respectful, thank you. ^^
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Just want to point out that there’s a Reddit user with the same name that was posting on Reddit 8 years ago and drinking gin at the time
https://old.reddit.com/user/oneautumnday
So I might take this AMA with a grain of salt…
It’s a pretty generic username. I think this is a stretch.
What’s the correlation…? A person who was active almost a decade ago on an entirely different site happened to have the same somewhat generic username as me… and you think it’s the same person? One of the biggest reaches I’ve ever read. My account name was chosen because I created it on an October day…😭
The same username is used by the same person on other social medias, just saying 🤷
This is absolutely not a rule & not something I even do + I don’t understand trying to hard to discredit me by making all these assumptions as if I’m spreading propaganda or trying to scam people…
Not a question, just words of encouragement from a dad who was in a similar situation. My oldest daughter was born when I was 20; I was in my third semester of university at the time. We managed to make it work, but my wife basically dropped her studies and became a full-time mom. It was a bit hard financially during university, but I managed to make it work and I graduated on time with pretty good grades, and I found a pretty good job right after. We were already planning on having kids (obviously after our studies), so we decided to keep going and we had a second daughter 2 years later (I was still in university at the time).
My oldest turns 15 next month, and she’s growing up to be a very well-adjusted, gorgeous woman. She makes me very proud. Well, all 4 of my daughters make me proud (yes, I’m still with their mom. We married after university; there’s no “children out of wedlock” stigma here).
Thank you & happy it turned out well for you. 🤍
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I mean that’s pretty crazy, what an intro. You said you’re from Romania, but you’re posting in a Canadian Lemmy server. Are you living in Canada now, or is this just where you found the community?
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What does your future look like? Babies are a lot of work; do you plan on studying more and going to work alongside, or …?
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You mentioned in a previous comment the condom broke and morning after pill didn’t work. How did you feel back then? Were you comfortable going through with it? Tell us more about your husband’s situation too
- I found this place on Reddit Alternatives… didn’t know it was Canadian. 2. I plan on definitely going to university. That’s a non-negotiable, to both my in-laws and parents, lol. My in-laws have the money, so with hired help (+ “the village” of course) & efficient time management, I’m confident it’ll be fine. There are people who work full-time and still attend university after all… 3. Honestly I felt nothing. It didn’t feel real to me until I got the positive pregnancy test. But when I sent my husband to buy the pill, I also had him buy prenatal vitamins, 'cause if I were to be pregnant, I preferred to do it properly. My husband is a 2nd year business administration student and also works for his family’s business. I met him at high school (we were both students at the same high school at the time).
On point 1:
This particular community (AMA) was created on lemmy.ca, which is an instance of lemmy hosted in Canada, but everyone is free to use it! We have a lot of general communities like that, in addition to the ones specific to Canada
The user was likely just curious if you moved, you’re fine to post here or any lemmy.ca community :)
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Are you looking forward to eventually being a young, hip, grandma?
Haven’t really thought about that… I mean who knows if the kid will even have kids or if they’re going to have them really late in life, lol (valid choices). But sure, if it happens that’s cool.
Are you happy with your overall situation or did it happen by force/accident?
I’m happy. Pregnancy happened due to contraception failure (condom broke, morning after pill didn’t work). We got married 'cause I didn’t want to have a baby out of a wedlock (with parental and juridical consent - you have to provide a strong reason why you want to get married if you’re under 18 - minimum is 16 - and my reason was that I was pregnant with medical proof).
Any names you’re considering for your little one?
Yes. Mircea, Marcu, Ioan, Anton… all boys names. I have a strong feeling the baby is gonna be a boy, so boys names are all I’ve had in mind (don’t want to find the sex before birth). I still have to consider girls names too tho… my male name choices are quite “archaic”, strong and very Romanian, lol. That’s what I like.
Welcome!
Are you living with your parents? Did the father move in too? How are you dealing with it? Did you want to have a kid?
Thanks! No, I moved in with my husband & in-laws - they have the nicer place. I’m doing great. 17 weeks + 4 today, going to school as usual (teachers, administration and students have been supportive). Did I want to have a kid? Not that early. But once it happened, the only thing that felt right for me was to keep the baby (but that’s just me, I’m a strong supporter of abortion rights and believe everyone should have a choice).
Marriage is a partnership, and parenthood is a partnership, but they are different. Did you get married before you discovered you were pregnant?
No, I got married specifically because I got pregnant.
How old is the father?
Is he your husband?
What are the local laws around age gaps in sex and marriage?
What are the local cultural norms around the same?
Have either of those things made your relationship difficult?
- Yes. 16 is the age of consent (recently got raised for 15), and there’s a max 5 year exception between 14 & 16. Age gaps are way more accepted here than from what I see on the US based websites for example. 4 years is really not seen as a big deal. Have they? Doesn’t feel like it.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck to you both!
Thank you! ♥
So your husband is 20?
Yes.
You said you plan to go to a university. What kinds od studies are you interested in? I suppose you still have time to make up your mind, but I’m curious :) Good luck to you in all you do!
Romanian - English language and literature, law or accounting. Those are my main preferences.
