Sorry, I don’t know if questions like this are allowed here. But I wanted to ask because I don’t know where else to find a group of awesome people like y’all.

The person who, biologically, is my father came out as trans when I was in my late teens. I (like to think) I’m fully supportive of this. But the one thing I don’t do is refer to her as mom/mother. My parents divorced and remarried so I have my biological mother, my step-mother, and my trans parent (married to my step-mom). And I tell myself I don’t call her mom because she was never a mother figure to me growing up. But recently everytime I have to awkwardly avoid referring to her as Mom it kinda feels gross.

I dunno. I don’t talk to her much (cause she’s a bigoted fascist truscum POS, but that’s not relevant I don’t weaponize her identity.) but it does come up. Usually to people who know her I refer to her as her first name (not dead name). To people who don’t I do occasionally call her either “my mom” or “my dad” just to simplify things. But neither feel right and that fact makes me feel bad.

I dunno it’s got me fucked up lately especially seeing the shit that some trans persons go through with people being like “oh well you were always [dead name] to me so it’s hard” and shit. I’ve always been fully onboard with her identity or well I thought I was until I thought about this situation more.

Don’t hold back if I’m being bigoted seriously I don’t like feeling like I might be and I want to self crit if I must.