Hello disabled comrades! Sorry the mega is late again. I hope we’re all weathering the COVID surge as best as we can.

As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:

“Disability” is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.

Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.

  • gingerbrat [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    I’ve been struggling with the definition of disability for a while (not the mega’s, but how I see it) and wanted to share my insecurities.

    I feel comfortable enough to talk to you beautiful people here and not feel completely weird about my type 1 diabetes. However, anywhere else and at any other time, I feel very strange about the disease.

    Outside of hexbear, I’m mostly ashamed I have it. Not because it’s my fault, but because it limits my participation in almost every activity. It’s not a disease that cripples me every day, although it certainly can if I fuck up, but when it comes to being spontaneous, diabetes is pretty unforgiving.

    Oh, you thought you had a lazy afternoon before you and thus used the appropriate amount of insulin? Well fuck that, now you suddenly got an invitation to stroll through town with a few friends you haven’t seen in ages. So you either inhale an ungodly amount of glucose tablets and have a very wonky walk bc, guess what, exercise makes you need less insulin, OR you stay at home to avoid that feeling of exhaustion and near-fainting wobbliness but also don’t see those friends. Either way, it’s shit.

    That’s just one of those annoying things, there’s plenty more. I feel horrible explaining this to others, I don’t like educating people on the differences of type 1 and the others bc they usually don’t care and if they know anything, they tell me I don’t look “fat enough” to be a diabetic. It’s fun, lemme tell you.

    The shame however comes in those moments when I have to explain, for example when hypoglycemia hits and I sound stoned and drunk. I’m in no position to explain anything then, my brain is working on reserve power and will barely understand it has to chew the glucose before swallowing. If somebody doesn’t know the symptoms or that I’m diabetic, they kinda need an explanation that I’m not gonna die any minute now but just in case, they should keep an eye on me. So if I manage to get that out, I’m always regarded with this intense amount of pity. And that pity is the most disabling thing anyone could possibly do to me.

    I sometimes just want to yell at people that if big pharma wasn’t using diabetics as their golden geese, the disease would’ve been cured decades ago. It wouldn’t be a disability but a curable disease. I wouldn’t have to be looked at like an animal in the zoo when I inject insulin in public or have hypoglycemia. kitty-cri

    Anyway, disability comes from society not truly accommodating us, but also preventing certain groups from being cured for the sake of profit. I don’t want to be a diabetic anymore, I just wanna be able to eat something without having to take out a calculator and spreadsheet beforehand.

    Sorry for the existential rant, I love you guys ❤️

    • DisabledAceSocialist [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      Rant away, that’s what we’re here for! I know how much it sucks living like this, I have similar issues with my thyroid meds. Dose too low? Extreme exhaustion and brain fogginess to the point of being unable to function or even think clearly. Increase the dose? Now palpitations, drenched in sweat, anxiety and total brain meltdown to the point of delusions. There’s no really comfortable middle ground. It’s no life, needing synthetic chemicals to survive.

      • gingerbrat [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        I know a few people who’re in the same boat as you are, I have such an insane amount of respect for all of you fighting with the meds. I hope that one day both you and I, and all our fellow thyroid-and-pancreas-meds-needing-people will have comfortable doses of medication that don’t fuck with our brains or bodies anymore than the diseases do. Thank you for your reply, comrade meow-hug