Ah, now it makes sense that all my applications got turned down with “You’re overqualified for the position”

I don’t hold out much hope either, but who knows, maybe we’ll get lucky.

I know a few people who’re in the same boat as you are, I have such an insane amount of respect for all of you fighting with the meds. I hope that one day both you and I, and all our fellow thyroid-and-pancreas-meds-needing-people will have comfortable doses of medication that don’t fuck with our brains or bodies anymore than the diseases do. Thank you for your reply, comrade

I’ve been struggling with the definition of disability for a while (not the mega’s, but how I see it) and wanted to share my insecurities.

I feel comfortable enough to talk to you beautiful people here and not feel completely weird about my type 1 diabetes. However, anywhere else and at any other time, I feel very strange about the disease.

Outside of hexbear, I’m mostly ashamed I have it. Not because it’s my fault, but because it limits my participation in almost every activity. It’s not a disease that cripples me every day, although it certainly can if I fuck up, but when it comes to being spontaneous, diabetes is pretty unforgiving.

Oh, you thought you had a lazy afternoon before you and thus used the appropriate amount of insulin? Well fuck that, now you suddenly got an invitation to stroll through town with a few friends you haven’t seen in ages. So you either inhale an ungodly amount of glucose tablets and have a very wonky walk bc, guess what, exercise makes you need less insulin, OR you stay at home to avoid that feeling of exhaustion and near-fainting wobbliness but also don’t see those friends. Either way, it’s shit.

That’s just one of those annoying things, there’s plenty more. I feel horrible explaining this to others, I don’t like educating people on the differences of type 1 and the others bc they usually don’t care and if they know anything, they tell me I don’t look “fat enough” to be a diabetic. It’s fun, lemme tell you.

The shame however comes in those moments when I have to explain, for example when hypoglycemia hits and I sound stoned and drunk. I’m in no position to explain anything then, my brain is working on reserve power and will barely understand it has to chew the glucose before swallowing. If somebody doesn’t know the symptoms or that I’m diabetic, they kinda need an explanation that I’m not gonna die any minute now but just in case, they should keep an eye on me. So if I manage to get that out, I’m always regarded with this intense amount of pity. And that pity is the most disabling thing anyone could possibly do to me.

I sometimes just want to yell at people that if big pharma wasn’t using diabetics as their golden geese, the disease would’ve been cured decades ago. It wouldn’t be a disability but a curable disease. I wouldn’t have to be looked at like an animal in the zoo when I inject insulin in public or have hypoglycemia.

Anyway, disability comes from society not truly accommodating us, but also preventing certain groups from being cured for the sake of profit. I don’t want to be a diabetic anymore, I just wanna be able to eat something without having to take out a calculator and spreadsheet beforehand.

Sorry for the existential rant, I love you guys ❤️

I went to check the thread (and modlog) out of morbid curiosity, and I still don’t get why certain posters almost imploded bc of your very kind and frankly, simply correct comment.

It’s ridiculous how aggressive some people get about a hint “Hey, what you said is ableist, please take that into consideration and don’t do it again”, to which they could just apologize.

I get wanting to delete the account here. This shit is depressing. Just know there’s people here who appreciate you calling that person out.

I’ve been thinking about your vent for quite some time and am still at a loss for words. All I can say is that I’m deeply humbled by your persistence and perseverance. Keep fighting, friend. I believe in you!

You’re doing fine hexbee, it’ll be alright

The giant hoodie always works

I’m happy to hear you’re doing better, and I know you can eventually arrive at a better balance between work and rest. You’ve made it this far with your diagnosis and techniques, you can do the rest just as well. You’ll be fine, comrade!

I have a few pens we could try, but they might do more harm than good. How about I remind you every now and again?

You’re really up to a lot, and it’s a lot at the same time, but I’m super happy for you and your success with the book club!! This is a tremendous step and you can be absolutely proud of yourself, friend

Still, I would recommend you take breaks, if not from work (although that too lol) or the book club, then from the other things to catch your breath. I get having the anxiety attack after the first book club meeting, but from the outside, it seems more like a thing that happened bc there is so much on your plate in total. All of this is great work and I’m proud of what you’ve accomplished. Keep up the good work, but also keep up the good rest.

Same

Reminds me of this gem

Always relevant, always good to revisit

You’re welcome ❤️

And I see why their experiences would not help you with your predicament. Did you by any chance have some coping mechanisms that worked in school that could be applied your job as well? I know it’s hard to compare the two but sometimes these strategies can be transfered to new contexts.

I hope you find something to make it easier.

First things first, your feelings are valid, just as much as anyone elses, and you don’t have to feel like an imposter for complaining about work. Period.

Second, AuDHD and OCD are extremely valid reasons to feel this upset about a toxic work environment. Let’s be real, it is, they took away something that was promised to you to make work easier. They’re assholes for taking away the two extra remote days from you. You have a right to be upset just as anyone else is. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve worked there, criticism or anger because of these things is legit. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise (including yourself!)

Lastly, and only as a suggestion: You mentioned your parents might just have neurodivergent traits as well and worked for decades in the same job. Depending on how your relationship with your parents is, have you considered asking them on how they coped? I don’t assume this will yield much helpful info, no, but maybe they can tell you some things that help you cope with stressful situations that otherwise might overwhelm you. It’s just a thought, don’t feel obliged to follow the suggestion.

In either case, I hope you’ll be doing alright soon, friend, and can find some peace of mind, as dim as the hope may be

I’m sorry to hear the overstimulation hit you this hard. From what you’re writing, it sounds like you got a lot on your plate already, so I think I get it. I hope you can unwind more somewhere between work and projects and other duties. Take care, friend!

You too!

I still can’t fathom how doctors flat out ignore what you tell them is uncomfortable/painful to you. This happens so often and it’s making me furious.

Hope the pain lets up soon, friend!

Depends. If in a serious conversation, definitely weird. But if I’m talking to someone who loves to disregard the danger, I like to say it actually bc they get so worked up over being reminded that it isn’t over. So yeah, for trolling I use it myself.