if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don’t get defensive. just say like “sorry, i won’t do it again” and don’t argue “actually it’s gender neutral” or “i call everyone dude”. even if you do, i guarantee she’s heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have
same goes double for the word guy.
unfortunately i know too many trans people that don’t feel like fighting and just give into it bc it’s easier to “seem normal” than it is to stand up for themselves. it sucks! (i’ve struggled in that way before too.)