semi- Serious question, Idon’t get it. Most of us get why the hegemonic gender system is stupid, why subscribe to the binary role you were assigned? Also, why do straight people exist? Maybe it’s just me but I like to look and feel like my own perception of what is attractive.
This is a misconception. Cis people don’t choose their gender, nor do heteros their sexuality. All babies are born genderfluid bisexual. When they start teething, gender and sexuality fairies arrive and make the baby into something else. Babies too fabulous for heterosexuality are made homosexual. If the sexuality fairy doesn’t visit a baby, but they just love everyone so much, they can’t distingush someone[s] they particularly like to limit their love to, they end up identifying as asexual.
I know the gender fairy visited me, we have pictures and everything, but I not sure about the sexuality fairy. I’m told they arrived, but I’ve seen evidence they were elsewhere at the time.
I think about what it would be like to be the opposite gender, but it’s not a very strong feeling. It’s just me wondering what life is like for the other side. I also think that it would be too much trouble to accomplish a gender change, so just that fact tells me that I’m not actually trans. I don’t even think of myself as male most of the time. I’m me before I’m part of a category that includes almost half of the world’s population.
Cause I like being a man. I assume it’s the same as how trans men like being men.
Of course I’m cis. My pappy was cis, my pappy’s pappy was cis, and his pappy before him was all cis. /S. Tbh tho I don’t feel like I identify as a girl or even non-male at all. I’m straight and cis and never had anything that really bothered me about it or made me question it.
“why are you gay?” vibes. clown question, sorry.
People are the way they are, and thats it. Especially leftists, you aren’t going to surprise them with the “gender is a social construct” thing. They are what they have decided to be.
You have missed the entire joke because you were too busy being upset that the questions asked to trans people were turned onto cis people.
No leftist has ever asked “why are you trans?” in the way it’s been framed here by OP.
Non leftists do that kind of unpolite questions, but I would expect a leftist trans person to not copy non leftist impolite behavior when dealing with leftists.
It’s a bad joke tbh. Also in the wrong sub for jokes
Where have I been impolite? As someone on the internet, you should know that most things are a mix between satire and seriousness. I simply flipped the stupid trans question onto cis people for giggles and because I was interested in what people could come up with. I do not mean to suggest that cis people shouldn’t exist, just that if we must justify ourselves then so should you. (Almost) Everything has a reason, even if it’s just “it happened to be this way by circumstance.”
It’s not really a tenable position that binary trans challenges gender more than cis. I wish I could just dig up my old rant on this but basically it went that a trans woman (to pick an example) is not rejecting masculinity as a concept nor challenging its place in society, she is merely rejecting personally practicing it and instead practicing a different role that co-defines masculinity. She is embracing the concept of masculinity and femininity as pillars of human existence by remaining in one of their silos.
Mind you, I think it’s wrong to say they challenge gender less than cis people because that would be absurd, since cis people overwhelmingly constitute what gender is on a base level (as a product of patriarchal social order). Some terfs try to basically blame gender on binary trans people and it’s immensely stupid, so let me be extra clear that I don’t mean that.
The only people who I think can credibly be called the vanguard of gender abolition are those who reject their personally having a gender identity rather than just inventing a new one. Everyone else, myself included, is plainly not doing something comparable to this, though there are other productive things to be doing, and I support the traditional communist angle of attacking gender by attacking sexism (which ultimately defines gender) and the idea that there is any difference between what men and women should do on account of their gender (e.g. there is no such thing as a “man’s job”, a “woman’s place”, etc). Gender and sexism are intrinsically kind of the same thing in the same way that race and racism are, in that they have no substance without a belief in practical difference, which is widely understood on an intellectual level to be bigotry but still not really felt in many cases.
I wince at calling myself a “man” but, beyond that, call myself male out of social convenience. If the gender vanguard announced tomorrow that there would be no more men, it would change nothing about my self-perception or presentation.
Maybe it’s just me but I like to look and feel like my own perception of what is attractive.
Yes, that’s what being homosexual means. I can’t speak for others, but I prefer to be what is associated with men (physically speaking) because it’s functional, while the aesthetic of women, for historical reasons relating to patriarchy, is overwhelmingly slanted towards being non-functional for things other than childbearing/rearing. I guess we have something in common because I tend to be more attracted to women who are fit rather than just thin, which by the definition I just laid out makes them a little more “masculine”.
idk, breasts are attractive (see the unfortunate discourse on the front page) but I would never want to have them or any of the other pouches of fat that characterize visible female sexual dimorphism beyond wider hip bones (which seem fine to have), thinner bones (which no one should have) and of course genitalia. On that last point, well, I don’t know how to explain this to someone who doesn’t already understand it, but I am fine with having my own genitalia but am moderately revolted by those that aren’t mine. Think of it like shitting, it’s disgusting when it’s someone else but with you it’s just whatever. Vaginas are disgusting as well, but they are less visible and mechanistically get along with dicks pretty well most of the time.
That was my best attempt at simply explaining being a male cishet Marxist.
Edit: I think it’s weird to get offended at this question being asked. It’s not like it tagged people. If it annoyed me too much, I’d simply ignore it and/or block the poster. Wanting to understand the perspective of other people is good, actually.
Edit: I think if I was AFAB I’d either be butch or fully transmasc and still prefer women because dicks are still gross. Obviously my current perspective is deeply socially conditioned, so that speculation means nothing, but there it is.
Totally agree, I once grappled with the question of whether it would be better to be a greatly non-conforming lad or a be transfem. Though I settled on calling myself non-binary I thought like I was mtf for a time, and it was uncomfortable. Simply rejecting gender rather than inventing another one does sound like a great solution.
At this point I understand being a cishet man. Not too much effort, and women are great. Flip it for women. Again I’m not saying people shouldn’t be cis, I just thought it was an interesting question.
Personally, female fat distribution seems decent, though I wouldn’t like it’s extremes. Mostly hips are the superior part. Genitalia are gross, but at least female it’s out of the way,
I was born this way. That’s the only explanation anybody should need. Mix up the variables in the question, and the answer is still the same.
My son was born feeling like a man. Doesn’t matter that he was born with female bits. We live in a world where science can reconcile that. He’s him. Simple as.
That’s a stupid question imo. Cisgender people didn’t choose their identity anymore than non-cisgender people did
I didn’t choose my gender but there’s still a reason I’m non-binary. I learned that gender was bs and realized I never strongly associated with being a dude and didn’t want to grow up to be seen as such by others.
The reason why I’m cisgender is partly bc I can’t imagine myself as anything else in terms of gender
because when i wear a skirt im a femboy not a girl
Tbc, I’m for gender abolition, not people being like “I like pink so I guess I have to change my gender.”
follow up question: have you always known you were cis? did your parents make you play with nerf guns if you are a cis boy or with dresses if you are a cis girl???
They didn’t make me play with Nerd guns because they were anti-gun, I had to beg my Mom to get one because my Dad is so staunchly anti-gun.
Same for my family for a while
Because I like BEER and WOMEN and ARM-WRESTLING and other MANLY things and I am definitely not COMPENSATING for any insecurities by performing a heteronormative role in society in a desperate attempt to fit in!
I’m trans myself but I think some people just end up being cis. And that’s OK. We shouldn’t judge them for it…all that much…
It’s interesting to think about, I believe it stems from whatever perspective of gender roles you grew up in- especially division of chore labour lol- and probably others my ignorant cis ass is unaware of, but you still are affected by how others work within their views so even in a much more fluid upbringing, your immediate community plays a huge role.
HOME LIFE
I had a split family for the middle of my childhood, the age where I really began to question life as is, and thus very different perspectives.
In Both houses I was the eldest son. In my main home with my mother, we didn’t have a father figure in the later years, but she was all hippie dippie and gender roles only came into place in practice when i had to do grunt work or my older sister cleaned up. For the most part we never really had chores, we all severe ADHD and , I’m slightly embarrassed to say this word, trauma. But when shit goes down I’m the one who has go deal with stuff, and in that sense I’m considered masculine as I am seen as expendable. It does hurt when I have gripes with my mother, and only because shes the authority figure and - like most people- is a mixed bag of good and bad qualities, she puts my genuine issues with her in the box of “misogynistic hatred”. So I never had gender roles until it was productive to put at my expense. The other houses was pretty Nuclear, with my father and stepmom, (tho my Father and gender could be a chapter on its own) I was the kid who had to clean up poop and pee and mow the lawn, but respect was always an us and them with the step siblings with us being the underlings. I hated that house and was the middle child, they always had this cast of me being awkward introvert but really I tried to get away from them as much as possible lol. And thus I was sort of taunted for my lack of masculine aggression by my older sisters and stepmom.
SCHOOL DAYS
I was a very… different child. I was wild, but as caring as I was crazy. The stereotypical spikey hair blonde ADHD boy, didn’t get an official diagnosis til covid as my dad didn’t want a label but im sire everyone knew. I sorta had a group of guy friends around elementary school, but I ended befriending the warrior Cats kids, not really held together by gender as more our autism. That was my main group up till highschool, not much about roles other than my friend making a bunch of incel comments, she later came out as trans so what do you do lol. She’ll come up later if I care to write the sexuality portion ;). I was defacto the only guy in the group but none of them were really gender presenting except for a cis girl. During all of this I was always that kid who would talk to anyone, but once highschool came I drifted from that friend group and into the new uncharted sea of hundreds of people I could meet, I was ecstatic.
I say I would talk to anyone but more and more my friends tended women rather than men, I always felt more comfortable with them, more emotional and mentally stimulating. In the beginning I was always teased by my friends for being their gay best friend or whatever, but as puberty completed during covid I became actually pretty masculine presenting, taller broader suddenly muscular, and became somewhat of a flirt. Never really dated or went on dates but I would dazzle with words so to say. Here I really felt cemented in a masculinity. Though boyfriends certainly weren’t shaking in their boots lol.
I also had to deal with girls, especially when we were younger, saying I was the one good man or something, made me uncomfortable being idealized like that.
Guys never made fun of me or anything strangely, I was very loud and never had that self consciousness in the teenage way. I do have a tendency to get giggly around men, take the role of a SpongeBob, and I find myself complementing guys because it never happens to us and I like giving a genuine compliment. And so I was never really self conscious about bro and dude stuff, but feminity isn’t something I ascribe to or even care about. Infact most of the people in my life who had gender roles on me were cis women but that could also be because most of the people in my life ARE women. I think I’m too extreme of an individual to get your average view point but it’s interesting none the less.
SOCIETY AS A WHOLE
Being a cis boy raised lacking gender roles and having the world defaulting as masculine. I never really HAD to think about presenting my gender, it just was. I knew of those cartoonish Manospheres but they seemed so out of touch ideologically i never really ascribed to it. I knew of gender but I didn’t know them personally. So I don’t really care for the extremes but still sometimes think about feel uncomfortable with the idea of being a woman, but not in the girls have cuties way. Gender expression does make me wonder if young men trying to present masculine is toxic or is it the specific trends of those communities, I’m sure someone much smarter could answer.
I think it’s also interesting too, being raised immersed only in English, gender isn’t really something I think about, and I’m interested to see if dysphoria rates are higher in places where the language has stricter gender grammar.
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I’m mostly joking
Edit: to elaborate, people sometimes naively ask this of trans people, so I thought it would be interesting to observe if the shoe was on the other foot. Now, this may seem like King Charles II’s request for an explanation for why a dead fish is heavier than a living one, but there is still a tiny bit of reason involved. The one I could come up with is just with the social construction of gender it is far easier to be normative if it doesn’t go against your being. I imagine it would be easier for people to experiment and go beyond current constraints comfortably in a communist post-gender society, but for now it’s not too hard for most to conform (beyond the obvious pain caused by the double edged sword of patriarchy).
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Path of least resistance i guess. I’m always trying to put in the least amount of effort possible on things that don’t matter that much to me, and my gender expression is just not something that i really care about anymore so i just go with what is easiest and takes the least amount of maintenance.
As for why straight people exist, i don’t know… do they? I used to think so but now I’m not so certain anymore. Nowadays i tend to think that everyone is more or less on a spectrum. Being completely straight seems as impossible to me as reaching absolute zero temperature. You can approach it but never really reach it.
So yeah, in conclusion i think straight people are probably a myth, and the only reason i’m cis is because every other option sounds like too much work.
I don’t agree with this one-drop rule for straightness. I have incidentally found men attractive, but at the end of the day, that’s the exception: I have found thousands of women attractive for every such incidence. It is disingenuous to call me as bisexual as a result—or at least renders the term meaningless.
Sure, but no one is strictly pure straight.
Totally agree, everyone’s gotta be a tiny bit bi, that might explain people being ok cis. Even people who really think they’re straight are probably attracted to some enbies or femboys (who turn everyone gay).
