Some of y’all are in dire need literature and reading comprehension. It’s a brilliant satire.

This is the best summary I could come up with:

His most recent book, written with Margaret Smith, is “The Power of Modern Value Investing — Beyond Indexing, Algos, and Alpha.”

This trend can be accelerated by not replacing retiring or departing professors and by offering generous incentives for voluntary departures.

To maintain its current 9.94 student-faculty ratio, the college need only admit fewer students each year as the size of its faculty withers away.

A notable side effect would be a boost in Pomona’s U.S. News & World Report rankings as its admissions rate approaches zero.

Obviously, each institution of higher learning would use its own endowment, properties and other assets to determine the equilibrium number of administrators that could be supported.

Instead of paying college costs currently approaching $100,000 a year, students could earn their degrees conveniently and inexpensively from the comfort of their own homes.

The original article contains 809 words, the summary contains 138 words. Saved 83%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!

Or, how about we just cut the sports bugget back to what’s needed for the students to play without any spectators, and instead spend all that money on mayor hireing the adjuncts that actually teach the classes as full time staff.

Or: eliminate the few people actually taking all that money at the top.