• Badabinski@kbin.earth
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    2 days ago

    Please reconsider this. The sensitivity that OP is talking about is like the hunger that a starving person feels. Men who haven’t ever been allowed to deal with their feelings will be more sensitive as their bodies scream at them to acknowledge years resentment, burden, anger, anxiety, and fear. A man committing suicide to get away from emotional deprivation is like a starving person committing suicide even though they could have access to food. Men don’t have to be providers for others, and it they choose to, they don’t have to suffer silently and thanklessly under a yoke as the world whips them. You can take care of someone while also getting your emotional needs met.

    • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      Yoke*

      But, thank you for taking the time to text this all to a perfect stranger. 💜

    • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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      2 days ago

      Men who haven’t ever been allowed to deal with their feelings

      The only people not allowing this are themselves… i am sorry these bootlickers can’t grow a backbone and act in their own self interest.

      Blaming “toxic” masculinity because losers can’t think for themselves is is toxic muscularity in of itself.

      Serving some rich dude’s need is not masculine, ie “I work hard to provide but I never see my kids is not a flex btw.” it is not masculine.

      I don’t know how we got to the point where bootlicking became toxic masculinity. Any man with self respect treats other men telling them what to do as a threat actor lol

      • Badabinski@kbin.earth
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        2 days ago

        I was one of those men, although I was never overtly sexist or misogynistic. I had a quieter form of toxic masculinity, where I always had to have an answer to every question, always had to be dependable and available, always had to be tough and strong. My father raised me that way and spoke out whenever I stepped outside of those lines. Once I moved out on my own, I took up my dad’s place and whipped myself whenever I wasn’t good enough. It took years of failure, pain, and suffering before I really questioned what I was raised to be. From there, it took years of therapy and love from a wonderful person to get to the point where I only occasionally find some of that old programming.

        Don’t get me wrong, toxic masculinity is not an excuse for bad behavior. Every person is ultimately responsible for their well-being and for how they treat others. My actions as a young adult caused some real harm, and that’s on me. “Buckling down” and working hard for some shithead boss is not, in general, very good for someone’s well-being. However, it’s a lesson that many boys are taught, and it can be very difficult to break out of childhood conditioning.

        • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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          2 days ago

          it’s a lesson that many boys are taught, and it can be very difficult to break out of childhood conditioning.

          no doubt but being a another man’s or society’s bitch, there is nothing masculine about it. i am not sure who came with this wording but it does not make much sense.

          it hides what is really happening… bootlicking…

          with that being said, a man with kids gonna need to step up and take care of his family that’s just biology. and providing gonna make you slave for daddy but you aint got to larp’s daddy’s koolaid.