https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactance_(psychology)

In psychology, reactance is an unpleasant motivational reaction to offers, persons, rules, regulations, advice, recommendations, information, nudges, and messages that are perceived to threaten or eliminate specific behavioral freedoms. Reactance occurs when an individual feels that an agent is attempting to limit one’s choice of response and/or range of alternatives.

  • randombullet@programming.dev
    4·
    25 minutes ago

    I usually say if you have time can you do XYZ? That way if they don’t want to, it’s assumed that they didn’t have time which is fine. They always have a way out

  • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
    9·
    10 hours ago

    I have an unconscious gift of telling people (mostly my wife) to do stuff just as she’s about to do it. She hates it lol

  • superkret@feddit.org
    99·
    22 hours ago

    “Could you wash the dishes?” will get an “already on it” out of me.
    But if they go with “You still haven’t washed the dishes?” then yeah, the dishes are gonna stay there till they learn to walk.

    • letsgo@lemm.eeEnglish
      1018·
      10 hours ago

      Get a wife and she’ll remind you to do the dishes WHILE YOU’RE FUCKING DOING THE DISHES.

      • activ8r@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        1·
        11 minutes ago

        You appear to be pretty mad at your wife over this. Have you spoken to her about it? It might help.

      • superkret@feddit.org
        311·
        9 hours ago

        I have a wife. Luckily we’re both adults who love and communicate with each other, so I don’t get to experience all those “wife bad” memes.

  • LouNeko@lemmy.world
    33·
    22 hours ago

    In my personal experience this is more of an issue with the commanding person rather than myself who’s doing the chore.

    If I where to take out the trash on my own accord nobody would even notice. But if I’m commanded to do it (even if I was planning on doing it anyway), then I wouldn’t hear the end of it. It will be held over my head that they where so “generous” as to remind me.

    So I have any reason to be grumpy about it. If I do it I get no reward, and if I’m commanded then I get shit on. I rather choose the first option.

    For some people this is a game of power, they tell you to do something while you’re already on it, just to make it seem like it was their idea and it feels like they are trying to essentially steal the credit for your effort.

    Or if I’m the one who keeps the house clean and they are the one who leave a mess, and then they have the audacity to ask me to clean up, they can go eat sand.

    This does not happen if I’m commanded by a person I respect or admire. Because then it seems like I’m actually doing them a favor instead of bowing to them.

    • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      91·
      16 hours ago

      I’m going to assume you were raised by at least one narcisist. This hits way too close to my childhood, and I’ve been out from under my parents’ thumbs for well over a decade now.

      Good luck getting out, and with the therapy that you seriously should look into. That I seriously need to schedule.

      • LouNeko@lemmy.world
        4·
        11 hours ago

        I am 100% sure my mother’s a narcissist and ~60% sure my dad’s autistic. Its not exactly a gasoline and fire combo, more like gasoline and water, which might be less dangerous but still unacceptable.

    • ralakus@lemmy.world
      18·
      17 hours ago

      You should go doomscroll on social media and watch as the hours melt away in your day only to look at the time and wonder what you could’ve done instead in the hours spent that you’ll never get back due to the inevitable forward march of time closer and closer to the end

  • Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works
    11·
    18 hours ago

    I love Alzward comics. They’re always VERY relatable. I especially like his newer style. The other colors are great. I’m a huge fan of the Scientist, myself. Purple is probably my second favorite.