The fuck. It’s behind a paywall so I’ll never know.

  • Acute_Engles [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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    25 minutes ago

    All the college campuses I’ve worked construction or maintenance on (as an outside contractor) have had specific rules about this.

    They were all around or exactly 2 seconds of looking at someone without reason (if you intend to interact with them in some work capacity you’re allowed to look at people)

    Think about how rules get created. Think about how the rule had to be morphed over time until it became not allowed for outside workers to perceive students for longer than 2 seconds.

    I’ve worked in trades for a long time now and I was completely unsurprised the first time i did an orientation at a campus and was actually glad they were so adamant about it because of people who worked for the same company as I did

  • CrookedSerpent [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    3 hours ago

    What are these people doing with their eyes do get “sharp disapproving looks” from women. Like are they actually just doing the cartoon eyes pop out of head looking up and down when they see a woman and they genuinely thing they are the victim here??? Surely they know the difference between looking at someone and staring at/ogling them… Surely…

  • damn does this guy tell on himself as a leering weirdo.

    I especially like the part about his wife divorcing him for being this way.

    also, if someone has time to give you a disapproving scowl, it was not a “quick glance”.

  • ButtBidet [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    7 hours ago

    Things are so much easier when one has the “I don’t want to make other people feel uncomfortable” principal.

    I don’t pretend to be some perfect guy, but I don’t recall being “given sharp, disapproving looks” in at least a decade if not much longer.

    • DragonBallZinn [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      5 hours ago

      It’s always pretty sus when discussing this, if they paint themselves as the REAL victims. If they mentioned that as you said, they don’t want people to feel uncomfortable, then that’s totally forgivable.

  • Robert_Kennedy_Jr [xe/xem, xey/xem]@hexbear.net
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    10 hours ago

    You’re welcome or I’m sorry.

    What is the rule about looking at women in public? As a red-blooded male, I would like to stare, but of course that’s rude and possibly antisocial. In the past, when I’ve taken a quick glance and got caught, I was given sharp, disapproving looks from the woman and, often, some bystanders. I’ve always been a loner, so I didn’t always get clued in on proper etiquette. When I married, I asked male co-workers what to do about looking at women, considering my new status. One said, ‘‘You’ve got to smell the roses along the way.’’ I took that to heart and continued to ogle women. This eventually led to my divorce. When women wear tight pants, it seems unfair: They are very sexy, but men are not allowed to look. What do women prefer in this situation? I want to do the right thing. — Name Withheld

    From the Ethicist: It’s clear that you’ve sometimes looked at women in a way that made them feel uncomfortable. Glancing at someone in a public place is always permissible; there’s often a fleeting moment of mutual acknowledgment — perhaps a slight nod or smile — before both parties look away. This momentary connection is part of how we experience our shared social world. No doubt if you find the person attractive, your glance may well linger involuntarily for a moment. But prolonging that moment further can cross a line. We can’t control our initial notice of others; we can control our subsequent choices. I suspect your ‘‘quick’’ glance wasn’t so quick. In public settings, it’s generally intrusive to display sexual interest. That it may sometimes be welcomed doesn’t change the situation. Yes, a brief friendly glance that produces a smile and a direct reciprocating look can mean you’re being invited to maintain eye contact. But if there’s any doubt, the unease caused by leering is bad enough that you should err on the side of averting your gaze. In your case, there normally should be doubt. Being aware of whatever shortcomings we may have in the skills of everyday life can guide us toward better practices. Just as people who know they have a poor sense of direction learn to check maps more often, someone who struggles to read social signals around looking would do well by being reserved and not risk making others uncomfortable. It’s a matter of taking the trouble to do what, for you, doesn’t come naturally, and adopting habits that respect everyone’s dignity. When it comes to men looking at women, in particular, there’s a broader social context in which women often experience unwanted attention or feel unsafe. The sexual etiquette I’ve described allows men and women to enjoy public spaces as equals. That’s why we wrong strangers when we fail to respect these rules. Such everyday courtesies are part of what it means to share a world.

  • Coolkidbozzy [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 hours ago

    first they came for the weirdos

    and I did not speak out

    because I was not a weirdo

    then they can for the people who see a woman, scream “Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt” and bash their head in with a hammer

    and there was no one left

    to speak out for me