Hi everybody! My schedule has been really unforgiving, so I may or may not end up writing something and making changes to the post later in the week.

Regardless, I hope you all have a good week!

Join our public Matrix server!

https://matrix.to//#/#tracha-space:transfem.dev

https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms

As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

  • gaystyleJoker [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
    7·
    22 hours ago

    hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i’ll add you to the list!

    the list as it stands:

    cummynism2cumharder (2/10 - 2/16)
GayTuckerCarlson* (2/17 - 2/23)
EstraDoll (2/24 - 3/2)
oscardejarjayes* (3/3 - 3/9)
Eco* (3/10 - 3/16)

    ​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

  • TerminalEncounter [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    2·
    52 minutes ago

    We used to have a long term patient on the unit, the story behind it is tragic so I won’t elaborate, she’s been gone for a while (discharged not anything else). I do miss her

  • TerminalEncounter [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    10·
    8 hours ago

    I haven’t smoked in like 10 years. I don’t know what it’s been with me this last week but I’ve been craving like crazy. The last times it’s happened, I was super stressed. I’m annoyed and a little frustrated but things are mostly on an even keel lately

  • amy_jmayday [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    17·
    13 hours ago

    I think perhaps the truest sign my sister accepts me as a fellow woman is she is happy, even enthusiastic, to have deranged conversations about Shipping with me.

  • EstraDoll [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    12·
    13 hours ago

    about an hour into my shift at work today and I felt the overwhelming compulsion to drop to my knees and start praying to Venus and I’ve never been remotely religious in my life so idk even know what to do with this information

  • cyber_godqueen [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    9·
    13 hours ago

    my 1st ever pair of glasses

    legitimately cannot believe i was driving without them

    i hope the frames look cute on me (i think they do but they are p large)…

  • Wendy_Pleakley [they/them, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    6·
    14 hours ago
    friendship, dysphoria

    I still don’t get how things go from “we see each other in class and interact positively” to “we text regularly outside of obligations and make an effort to spend time together”, let alone “we travel to see each other and consider each other close”. My classmates have all been in school together for years already. These people have histories and pasts with each other. I don’t know if I’ll ever have a past or a history or a long-running kind of anything with anyone. A Man Without Relation.

    Someone asked me what I do outside of school and my brain short-circuited. All I felt comfortable saying was “YouTube” because “smoke weed and wish I were a girl” is kind of off-putting? Runner ups include failing to choose a new TV show or video game, or pacing around my apartment.

    I wish there were a way to guarantee that a social interaction would be positive. I feel like I just keep waiting for a social cue that isn’t coming, some obvious sign that it’s okay to ask questions, it’s okay to say how I feel, it’s okay to want to hang out. I can’t imagine any outcome other than a no. Truly.

    If I felt like I could try and make girl friends without feeling like a guy who is trying to make girl friends and more like someone who is just naturally becoming friends with people who are naturally and obviously becoming friends with him/them, then maybe it would be easier. If I just were a girl, and just were 7 years younger, maybe, but obviously it didn’t happen that way.

    Like goddamn I just want to be cute and silly and whisper about dumb shit in my room together and go shopping and try on makeup and outfits and hold hands and gaze at the stars and go on drives and shit. If I knew how and where and when to want that you would have to put me down to get me to stop having that for myself. I’m that fucking confused and livid at everyone and everything

  • Wendy_Pleakley [they/them, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    6·
    15 hours ago
    alcohol , stress venting

    Just broke a bottle of whiskey the minute I got home from buying it. Not only do I have to clean it up now, but I have to go buy even more because I feel stupid and want to drink even more.

    I am so fucking sick of getting 2/3 through a day and having something happen that negates all of that and makes me want to throw a brick at someone. I literally don’t care that the day was going fine. I was on my way to RELAX and now there’s more bullshit.

    I’m getting plastered. I’m pissed . Whoever invented plastic bags needs to go away. Whoever made bottles round so they can roll needs to go away. Whoever made the floor hard needs to go away.

    It’s like the fucking Odyssey getting from my last obligation of the day to the point that I can fucking relax. And then I get 3 hours of sleep over the course of 7, and it all starts again sadness-abysmal

    This isn’t even what I wanted to complain about but I’m like seething right now. I’m dysphoric about a completely different set of problems. Let me get drunk, life, please.