Tell her that her nose looks too perfect, problem solved
Exactly. They fumbled hard. “It has to be your ____, there’s no way it turned out that good naturally.”
My autistic ass would be like “Nope no clue sorry, whatever it was, they a good surgeon 👍”
Neurotypical here - that’s the correct response.
ADHD here, it’s one of two. The other is to guess bottom surgery/sex reassignment to teach her what sort of prizes she can expect from playing stupid games. Yeah you’re burning that bridge, but that’s a bridge worth burning
Madlad
I’m with you, I’d joke about circumcision (and maybe ran away 🥲)
Unsure of neuro-typicalness, but I’d go with this one as well.
ADHD here, after years of studying behavior from normies in order to emulate/mask, this is easily one of the best answers here.
Sometimes brutal honesty is the answer.
“Your nose is your cutest feature, that’s why I chose it” is the correct response
“Not like those ugly-ass ears. They really screwed those up, huh?”
Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is really fucked up.
(this one is so stupid and obviously inappropriate that I laugh each time I imagine someone saying it)
Imagine answering the plastic surgery question with “The left side? Did you get burnt badly or something? It looks kind of wonky.”
Labia reduction
“You seemed like a person who would have a wizard’s sleeve situation down there.”
“Wtf it was my ears”
“So is the situation down there not fixed or what do you mean?”
Crying laughing from wizard sleeve situation. Made my night, thanks
leanbeefpatty
Context?
So what does the ab goddess has to do with this surgery?
Exactly what I meant with my question.
Just a play on words. Labia reduction = lean “beef”
Huh. Disappointing.
Her wrinkled, flaccid labia unfurls halfway to her knees, like some ball-less scrotum
Right out of a romance novel
It’s an old Bill Hicks bit
Ever been to Arby’s?
“How do you know what my labia looks like…?”
Then get called a creep and shouted at.
I’m just saying that you’d deserve if that was your answer.
Nah, it’s a perfectly fine snappy response to a loaded question.
Bonus points if you guess correct 🌚
Do the following:
First, say something along the lines of: “That is very difficult. On the one hand, you are so astonishingly beautiful that all features of you could be made by a master craftsman. On the other hand, as I am a person of faith, you could also be just God’s most perfect creation.
Either way, would you excuse me a second while I go to refresh in the bathroom?”Then you sneak out of the bathroom window because by the glorious lord Satan himself, you do not want to be in a relationship with someone who insists you do something after you refuse
“that is very difficult, one the one hand you are so astonishingly beautiful that all features of you could be made by a master craftsmanship, on the other hand, as I am a person of faith, you could also be just God’s most perfect creation.
Either way, would you excuse me a second while I go to refresh in the bathroom?”
Better answer: Don’t put up with toxic games
Exactly. Nothing wrong with a “Nuh uh. I’m not falling for this. You can tell me if you want me to know.”
smh could have guessed she was born with a tail, missed opportunity
If I was born with a tail and found out my parents had it removed I’d be mad as hell.
Human tails are kind of a thing and doctors do remove them. But it’s not a glorious tiger tail or anything, it’s like a stub, it’s an outgrowth of the coccyx, which is literally a vestigial tail.
If my tail wouldn’t be prehensile, then I’d want it remove too. It’s a sartorial mess with no upside.
She was born an otter and had a plastic surgery to look like a human.
“It looks perfect! That’s why I thought you had work done!”
she clearly wants you to compliment her natural features, play along citizen.
How would anyone be supposed to know that?
Also isn’t asking for compliments generally a bad thing?
Which is why she isn’t directly asking for them.
I did not realize that was a relevant distinction.
Ehh for some it’s natural to understand, for some it’s learned, for some it’s off the radar completely.
Asking for compliments is fine but people are insecure so they do it indirectly.
“How do you like this dress/these pants/this whatever” would be someone giving an opportunity to compliment them. But they would be uncomfortable with asking, “can you compliment this …”
You’re right that it’s not <good> communication. It’s super taxing for me as i’m in the learned group edging on off the radar(i naturally interpret teasing as bullying). So i just try to compliment people regularly at least once every time i spend time with them to make up for it. More on dates and in relationships.
I try to compliment people regularly too but if they ask a question I would answer it honestly.
I also feel like I’ve been told that I shouldn’t ask for compliments because it’s rude when I was a child. However I can’t remember who said it to me.
It can depend on the person so it’s a general concept. I think if someone is asking for a critique they would ask more directly. Culture also plays a big role. I’m speaking from a USA cultural viewpoint.
Bah, screw that! People like making others feel good. It makes you feel good to know another person is pleased. So what if you fish for that sort of engagement unless you’re being an incessant little dictator?
How do you like this dress/these pants/this whatever” would be someone giving an opportunity to compliment them.
I am 42 years old, married for 15 years, together with my wife for >23 years. And this is the first time I realize that she doesn’t really mean the clothing but is fishing for a compliment. It never occurred to me, and it seriously is blowing my mind.
Edit: rotfl, all the occasions she asked me this kind of question suddenly make sense. Damn, I think I have to apologize.
Lol took me until my 30’s. This is the problem with modern masculinity, we are not taught about social norms. So those of us who have trouble with them struggle. In any case, I hope you and your wife are better for the realization!
I failed this test. It feels like a mind game and i don’t play them.
“They must have clipped off your wings, because you look like an angel.”
vomits
“Or like some sort of succubus devil thing, I dunno.”
Horn removal and chopped off a spiky tail lol
“Speaking of which…did it hurt when you broke through the Earth’s crust while ascending from hell?”
“Do demon women like you float out from volcanoes, or do you claw your way through dirt to get here from hell?”
Hey, I’ll take any action I can get.
I was gonna finish with “…an ANGEL OF DEATH!!!” and start to air guitar. If she does the intro scream, she’s a keeper.
Did it hurt, when they clipped your wings and you took 1000d6 falling damage, m’lady?
Since when was Anakin Skywalker on lemmy?
Insist, not to pick something then. You can easily explain that it’s a lose-lose: either something is wrong with a natural body part or they didn’t do a good job. And both of you feel bad afterwards.
“Your boobs?”
“My boobs?!”
“Yeah, they look greeeeeeeat” *deliver as Tony the Tiger*That has to be what she was fishing for.
“Oooh, I don’t know. Maaaaybeee your lips, because I can’t stop looking at them. But if you did, then your doctor is really good.”
Deliver it light and kind of flirty and she’s not thinking about whatever trap that question is, she’s thinking about how you just told her you want to kiss her.
If it’s for any other reason - making sure an insecurity is unknown, wanting to springboard into a conversation, wanting to see how you react if she baits you into saying something dumb, or even having her own flirty line to deliver about it - she’ll probably get to it. Assuming you haven’t wooed her into a voracious make out session.
Sounds like trouble is they ever get into a relationship.
“Honestly? You look so naturally beautiful I couldn’t begin to guess. But if I had to, I’d say your most captivating thing about you is your eyes. Are they the real deal or someone fashion them from starlight?”
You should write for Hallmark movies.
idk i’m just going to pull the “dont know don’t care, card.” lol
“Did they do work on your face to make you less cute? Because I think they botched it.”
