https://www.thewrap.com/jesse-watters-tim-walz-milkshake-masculinity-fox-news/
I cannot wait for all the Fox News sycophants to start drinking their milkshakes straight out of the cup to prove their manliness.
I bet women don’t cover their drinks when Walz walks into the room.
See? Weird. All the women do that when I walk in the room. Also I slashed my wife’s tires to get her to date me.
I’m Jesse Watters.
For those who don’t know, the tire slashing thing is true. And he admitted it on national TV before ever telling her in person.
Nah, it’s fictitious. Do a search for “Jesse Watters slashfic” to learn more.
I bet women don’t cover their drinks when
Walz walksTim Waltzes into the roomI can’t believe you just left that perfect opportunity sitting by the wayside!
Fellas is it gay to drink a milkshake with a straw?
Seriously though, how else are you meant to drink one??
You open your manly man gullet and pour the entire thing in. Or you shotgun it. Those are the only manly ways to consume beverages.
You can boof it like Kavanagh too.
“Boof it like Kavanagh” sounds like a parody version of “Bend it Like Beckham” where a young white guy starts partying and taking bribes after being inspired by his favorite Supreme Court Justice in spite of his parents actually giving great advice on how to be a decent person
Men can’t savor their milkshakes. Drink it in 3 gulps, or you may as well just cut your balls off right there.
Keg Stand! Drink it pledge!
you’re supposed to rip the cup open and scoop it out with your hands
If you’re not shotgunning your milkshakes are you even drinking them?
Slow down there, Ron.
Obviously your supposed to tongue it out of a man’s ass
Ngl that sounds kinda gay.
You let it melt, go to the drive-thru liquor and get a half pint of Jim beam, and mix em while getting on the freeway in your dually F-250 which you’re using to haul 3 cases of bottle water back to the subdivision from Sam’s Club.
I think you’re supposed to squint with one eye, scream “ACK ACK ACK” as you crush the cup from all sides with your hand, and then catch the plug of shake-goo in your mouth.
I would love it if this nimrod had to drink a shake on screen right after this inane comment.
Maybe with a spoon? I could imagine drinking it like a fully liquid drink, but that sounds like it would get pretty messy pretty quickly, like when a cup of ice spills onto your face.
I mean, also who calls it a “vanilla ice cream shake”? These people all sound like Mr. Burns.
J.D. Vance almost certainly calls it a “vanilla ice cream milkshake dessert beverage.”
“I’m JD Vance and I’m running for vice president. Could I have an ice cream milkshake dessert beverage? Just whatever makes sense. What’s that flavor? Vanilla? Ok, sure, I’ll try that. I’m JD Vance.”
“How long have you worked here? Six months? Okay. How long has the cook worked here? You don’t know? Ok.”
He probably doesn’t even know that much about it. He’d say “one of those blended frappes? A decaf diet frappercino, no coffee flavor please, ha ha…. Folks, no, it’s good! Please clap”
No he doesn’t. He calls it a vanilla coishion dessert prequel, and you KNOW it!
He spills it all over the couch cushions, like every other normal, non-weird, alpha male.
And women Looove Tim Waltz so this guy just jealous. And fucking weirdo. Using a straw makes me unmanly!? This guy is a nut.
Well if you can come up with a better name for partially gelatinated non-dairy gum based beverages I’d like to see it.
These people are weird. We don’t need to pay them any attention.
That weirdo is… grasping at straws
I thought these weirdos were pro-straws? Something about how putting more plastic in the ocean is actually good for the environment and how bans on plastic straws are a slippery slope to woke Marxist communism or something?
That’s on Tuesdays. On Thursdays straws are bad because man stuff. Keep up!
Thanks Regina George
This is not the first time Watters has talked about straw use on air. His implication is that straws are somehow phallic and a man using one is gay. Watters’ strange obsession tells us more about his own phallus than anything else.
I really want to see him drink a milkshake now.
You just wanna watch it dribble down his chin like a frozen cum blast
Me too
Actually, I want to see it get stuck in the cup so he ends up tilting to far back and getting a full on facial.
Ah, the Demetri Martin of money shots
and nobody tell him he can squeeze the sides to unstick most of it
Drinking a cocktail out of the little stirring straws is certainly effeminate, but drinking a milkshake from a straw is a normal-ass behavior.
Drinking a cocktail out of a stirring straw is insane regardless of your gender.
I think it can be kind of sexy when done correctly.
Ok but a lot of ridiculous things are sexy when done correctly. I would know, being ridiculous is my move
Who the fuck does not use straws in milkshakes? They’re literally served with a straw by default because that’s how you’re supposed to drink them.
And this dumbass knows Tim Walz is married and has kids, right? While he got divorced for being a lousy cheater - which tells you everything.
to be “fair”, while he went softer on him, waters still said this wasn’t a good look. so at least he’s consistent in his weirdness. can’t imagine how embarrassed his poor mother must be.
It’s all good now - his mother respects him again after he slashed her tires.
*le sigh*
A lot of conservatives seem to think of cheating as more manly than happy and stable familial relationships. Which is just further evidence that the people who are obsessed with men being manly have such a worse opinion of men and masculinity than the most rabid feminist stereotype
Straws are gay now? Does this guy just chug it?
Men can’t have bananas, popsicles, corn dogs, hot dogs, fruity drinks, sugary coffee, and ice cream, and now they can’t use straws?
and now they can’t use straws?
How TF are you supposed to drink a boba tea? Just take all the balls into your mouth at one time?
you think having balls in your mouth isn’t gay?
like soup I guess
Men can’t have bananas, popsicles, corn dogs, hot dogs, fruity drinks, sugary coffee, and ice cream, and now they can’t use straws?
Real men can.
Nope, masculinity is too fragile apparently.
I saw a man once eat a banana in a completely non-gay way.
He opened his banana from a seam in the middle of the banana most of the way to the top and bottom, then ate the banana like a pussy.
Strangest method I’ve seen.
That man must be crazy strong and intimidating for no one in his life to have ever felt safe enough to pull him aside and ask, “What the absolute fuck are you doing?”
“this 'nana, gaang”
What are you supposed to use? A spoon? Has this weird fascist ever been to a fast food drive thru?
You’re supposed to dislocate your jaw like a snake and pour it down your throat in one big lump like that beer bong you sucked down back when you peaked in your frat days.
Now I’m picturing someone doing that, then when they finish, going on a Brett Kavanaugh “I like beer!” style rant but about milkshakes
This obsession with being ‘manly’ is the least manly thing I can think of. How am I supposed to take you seriously when you’re a whiny little bitch about things like straws?
Exactly, as a man the only thing I care about in regards to milkshake-manliness is if there’s whipped cream and a cherry on top! If the waitress forgot it, that means she doesn’t respect you and you need to keep ordering until she sees how much lactose you’re able to handle as a master of your domain! If you shit yourself, just make sure to tip extra…
While I absolutely hate this argument, I award them 15 points for making a literal straw-man argument.
I hope they choke on the points.
Oh you…
Uh, I’m a woman and I like Tim Walz and think Jesse Watters should be thrown into an active volcano, so I’m not sure where he’s getting his info from.
He seems good looking enough for a man his age, he’s a nice guy, and suggesting a fucking football coach- oh, excuse me, assistant football coach isn’t manly is just ludicrous on the outset.
Let’s see Jesse Watters assistant coach a high school football game.
The thing that draws me to him is the he seems like the kind of person who actually got in to politics because he wanted to help people, and he didn’t become cynical and give up when he figured out all the roadblocks that are in the way of that goal. He seems like he still genuinely cares about people and wants everyone to have a better life, not just a small in-group.
Oh, I read as “suggest fucking a football coach”
That’s because you’re an effem- er, a gir- wait, wait… Ummm… No, you shut up! 😤
I’m effeminate. I drank an appletini out of a cocktail straw while I changed the oil in my motorcycle the other day.
That sounds like a really good way to accidentally drink antifreeze.
Not that I’m judging. If antifreeze weren’t secretly delicious, then why do they color it like Jolly Ranchers???
Air cooled, I’m safe this time!
Wanna come ride with me? I promise I probably won’t take you to the murdering woods!
I don’t ride things with motors and fewer than 3 wheels.
It’s not the motorcycle that’s untrustworthy, it’s me and my highly questionable choices. When I was young and riding my bicycle, I became curious enough to stick my foot on my front wheel to see if I could manually brake like that. Of course I instead got my foot lodged inside the yoke and ended up limping my bike home with a concussion.
The concern is never if I’ll let the intrusive thought take over, it’s merely what will the context be.
I remember having that same thought the first time I was going faster than 35 on my scoot. I had to fight that intrusive thought.
Drinking gives me nightmarish acid reflux, so I’m always absurdly sober. Obviously alcohol is your superpower.
My superpower is taking enough medications and talking to enough therapists that I don’t act on every intrusive thought and stopped actively trying to kill myself.
It is so incredibly strange to me that this bullshit can legally pretend to be a news channel, and many people watch it as such.
It’s difficult to believe that people are that stupid, seriously.
Thanks Reagan.
The young men go unseen. They run through the streets screaming “SEE ME! GAZE UPON MY VISAGE AND KNOW FEAR!” The young men shovel vanilla ice cream shakes into their contorted faces and gurgle in triumph. They do not use straws.
Is this from the Niebelyungmenlied?
A straw? A s-t-r-a-w??? A fucking STRAW??? How very dare he drink a milkshake like a normal Human. How dare he! Bastard!
